Information technology enable many people to do their chores outside their workplace (e.g at home or while travelling) do the benefits outweigh the disadvantages

It is undoubtedly true that advanced innovations are totally transforming the way of living of humans. It enables folks to do the chores of their duty without being present at the workplace. I believe that its merits surpass the demerits. To commence with the disadvantages associated with using technical gadgets. the predominant demerit is
while
using electronic machines and mobile phones, Individuals may face many physical problems. To elaborate on
this
, using laptops for long hours can
put
Verb problem
have
show examples
an adverse effect on the eyes and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
the masses tired. which would be very dangerous for physical fitness.
Hence
, people should prohibit its accessive use because it may be very detrimental to fitness. Shifting toward the merits that how advanced technology can prove a boon for humans without going to workplaces. It would be very beneficial for accidental cases. To explain
this
, the individuals who are suffering throughout the accidental cases so it would be very difficult for them to visit workplaces for several months
due to
surgeries but the usage of technical equipment can enable them to do their imperative chores from bed.
For example
, a survey conducted by the "Welfare Employees Department" in India, revealed that 9 personnel out of 10 returned to the same designation after removing the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
restrictions owing to following the same firm and their significant duties with the help of scientific advances
such
as attending meetings with the assistance of Zoom application.
Consequently
, working from home can be a benefactor for people who suffer from injuries.
Further
strengthening its benefits, the usage of information technology by educational institutions can be advantageous for Students.
In other words
, Sometimes, the masses are able to initiate their work activities at a later age during work so it would be very difficult for them to visit institutions physically but with the assistance of new gadgets, and applications, they can achieve what they want. To cite an example, a survey held by
Education
Correct article usage
the Education
show examples
Department in 2019 showed that 62% of people used the method of distance learning from renowned universities and grabbed their degrees with a fabulous percentage, which later
helps
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
them to get Ideal jobs.
As a result
, with the assistance of online education, many can get their
desirable
Replace the word
desired
show examples
education from their home. Taking everything into consideration,
although
, devices
such
as laptops can create many health issues
yet
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they may provide sufficient help to those who are unable to go to workplaces or to institutions
due to
any cause.
Submitted by jagdeepsandhu357 on

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task response
Ensure that all the points raised in the prompt are addressed in your response. Also, consider providing a clear position regarding whether the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a more consistent logical structure throughout the essay. Additionally, use transition words and linking devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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