IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

many people spend less and less time in their homes.what do you think are the reasons?what effects does it have on individuals and the society?

A warm and cosy
home
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 provides the best rest place for increasingly busy modern
people
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 after finishing a long day of intense work.
However
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, investigation indicates a large number of
people
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 choose to stay at
home
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 for fewer and fewer hours.
This
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 essay explores the reasons behind
this
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 fact and discusses its impacts on individuals and society. While various reasons can contribute to the decreased number of hours
people
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 spend in their places, the progressively higher work pressure plays an incredibly vital role in keeping employees from going
home
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.
For instance
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, engineers in many prominent technology companies like Alibaba in China must work overtime frequently, and managers often schedule meetings with clients during their off
time
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 for business purposes.
As a result
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, many employees have to sacrifice their resting
time
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 for their job.
In addition
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 to the stressful working environment, other factors like loneliness, undesirable living conditions, and endless entertainment can
also
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 keep
people
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 from staying at
home
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 for a long
time
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. The influences of declining hours the population spends in their homes can be destructive to both individuals and society.
To begin
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 with, less
time
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 at
home
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 means less rest and sleep during the day, inevitably leading to an unhealthy body and bad mental conditions.
Consequently
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, not only will it undermine the ability of individuals to achieve their career and personal goals, but
also
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 increase the divorce rate in married couples due to the lack of quality
time
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 they can spend together. With the above analysis of reasons and harmful effects of the dropped amount of
time
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people
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 spend at
home
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, companies and governments must take some actions to improve both the employment environments and living conditions for citizens to construct a prosperous society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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