Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #schools

The usage of technology in

education

has come a long way causing virtual

education

possible for everyone including

children

Change preposition

apply

show examples

almost everywhere around the world.

However

, there are still some people who believe attending

school

is paramount.

This

essay will consider both views and why I think

kids

should attend

school

to build their social skills and prevent depression and isolation. According to the

first

group, online learning is more

relax

Replace the word

relaxing

show examples

and less stressful for

kids

. It is clear that when

kids

do not have to get to

school

, they can sleep more, have their breakfast at home and start their class in the comfort of their room.

Also

, they do not need to wear formal cloth or uniform which make them be more relax.

Besides

, parents

also

will be more comfortable not having to drag their

children

out of bed and be worried about traffic around

school

or being late for work.

However

, others think that youngsters have to attend

school

to have

Correct article usage

a fully

show examples

fully

Change the adverb

full

show examples

education

. If

kids

are left on their own with their devices, who can guarantee they will log in to their classroom

Change the punctuation

show examples

There are so many other fun activities that can distract

kids

online and prevent them from being in their virtual classroom. Instant, famous platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Tick Toc,

Youtube

Correct word choice

and Youtube

show examples

can be more entertaining and distracting for a child who has no supervised online

education

Also

, some youngers can not be left alone at home if their parents are at work.

Thus

, it is not practical for young

children

and distracting for others without having someone to control attendance. In my view,

children

should be present in

school

to build their social skills by interacting with each other and adults.

This

is a paramount skill that can be learnt only by being among others. When

kids

are staying home all day in front of the screen they can not socialize and enjoy each other presence.

Besides

, not having physical contact is one of the most important causes of depression and isolation which can be prevented by having in-person contact at

school

Submitted by hoang.b.lam88 on Tue Jan 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

347 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

customizable learning pace
global connectivity
social skills development
self-discipline
unequal access to technology
structured environment
extracurricular activities
supervised learning
one-size-fits-all approach
peer pressure

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
As usual, people look for doctors when they have health issues. However, various medicines and treatments are quite popular nowadays. This trend may have some positive aspects, but they are insignificant compared to its negative aspects. I see a negative development for this phenomenon because of the safety and the guarantee provided by some alternate aid.
7
band
Some people believe that technology has led to many positive developments in their lives, while others think technology is gradually taking over control of the way people live. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasoas for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or xperience.
"Today, as computer technology is increasingly developing, machines have become an indispensable part of life, especially in the fields of health and education. In every aspect, technology can be Used effectively, it is a factor to help people exploit for the development of society.
7
band
In a number of countries,some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway line for very fast train between cities.others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In a number of countries, there is a debate on whether large sums of money should be allocated to constructing new railway lines for high-speed trains between cities or if it would be better spent on improving existing public transport systems. Both viewpoints have their merits and drawbacks, which are worth considering in detail.
4.5
band
QUESTION 👉The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?
Extracurricular activity plays an important part in our environment today. However, I believe creativity still holds a vital role in our current society and should be included in our education syllabus.
5
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? New irrigation methods create und land soil ercasion.
It is an irrefutable fact that, in the contemporary world, agriculture plays an crucial role in the survival of individuals. Although, in the present world lot of methods are used to increase the land production capacity, many people around the world still face hunger. Such a trend, bring about various issues, which demand immediate consideration. This essay will analyze the reasons and the solutions of this trend along with examples in upcoming paragraphs.

Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In a number of countries,some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway line for very fast train between cities.others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

QUESTION 👉The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? New irrigation methods create und land soil ercasion.