Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #schools

The usage of technology in

education

has come a long way causing virtual

education

possible for everyone including

children

Change preposition

apply

show examples

almost everywhere around the world.

However

, there are still some people who believe attending

school

is paramount.

This

essay will consider both views and why I think

kids

should attend

school

to build their social skills and prevent depression and isolation. According to the

first

group, online learning is more

relax

Replace the word

relaxing

show examples

and less stressful for

kids

. It is clear that when

kids

do not have to get to

school

, they can sleep more, have their breakfast at home and start their class in the comfort of their room.

Also

, they do not need to wear formal cloth or uniform which make them be more relax.

Besides

, parents

also

will be more comfortable not having to drag their

children

out of bed and be worried about traffic around

school

or being late for work.

However

, others think that youngsters have to attend

school

to have

Correct article usage

a fully

show examples

fully

Change the adverb

full

show examples

education

. If

kids

are left on their own with their devices, who can guarantee they will log in to their classroom

Change the punctuation

show examples

There are so many other fun activities that can distract

kids

online and prevent them from being in their virtual classroom. Instant, famous platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Tick Toc,

Youtube

Correct word choice

and Youtube

show examples

can be more entertaining and distracting for a child who has no supervised online

education

Also

, some youngers can not be left alone at home if their parents are at work.

Thus

, it is not practical for young

children

and distracting for others without having someone to control attendance. In my view,

children

should be present in

school

to build their social skills by interacting with each other and adults.

This

is a paramount skill that can be learnt only by being among others. When

kids

are staying home all day in front of the screen they can not socialize and enjoy each other presence.

Besides

, not having physical contact is one of the most important causes of depression and isolation which can be prevented by having in-person contact at

school

Submitted by hoang.b.lam88 on Tue Jan 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

347 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The amount of consuming products which contain high level of sugar is increasing, with some people claiming that it should be decreased by making these goods lavish and exorbitant items. I personally accept this, and I will explain why in this essay.
6
band
In many countries tourism is an important part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage. Some people believe that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
touristry, being a weighty part of the economy in a lot of countries, caused a bad environmental impact and destroyed important communities. Historical places and picturesque sites are dying out. A number of believed that it is better that people who travel pay an extra payment to compensate for those environmental effects,
6
band
You have heard that a developer plans to build a shopping centre near your home. write a letter to the council. In your letter -say how you head about the plan -explain how you feel about it -ask for mor information about it
I am requesting your information about making a new building on Kashmir Road.
6.5
band
Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discussion both views and give your opinion.
Excessive amount of junk food really affects our health badly in the long term, as proven by research. In my view, I agree that the public should be acknowledged of the negative effects of fast food, so they will lower their daily intake of fast food and prevent further harm.
8
band
In modern times, the issue of environmental Problems has become highly controversial. It is often said that it is the main reason for the loss of some species and animals however other feel that it has other big problems. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide overall provide my Opinion.
It is often considered that in the contemporary era environmental issues are more concerned hence the main cause of natural resource change is the frequent loss of a few species and animals. Whereas, others believe some others factors which cause such conditions. In my, an inclined rise in human needs causes the loss of wildlife diversity which affects environmental problems. Thus this essay will elaborate on both notions which lead to a logical conclusion.

Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries tourism is an important part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage. Some people believe that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You have heard that a developer plans to build a shopping centre near your home. write a letter to the council. In your letter -say how you head about the plan -explain how you feel about it -ask for mor information about it

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discussion both views and give your opinion.