IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, government spent a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Massive amounts of the national budget have indeed been used to afford
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 in many nations around the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reasons for
this
Linking Words
, followed by my opinion on whether it is the best way for governments to spend money. Authorities fund
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 because of the number of benefits it can bring to the public and the country. 
Firstly
Linking Words
, a good
internet
Use synonyms
 connection allows employees living in big cities to work from home or remote places, which can reduce their living costs as the rent is relatively low in small cities,
thus
Linking Words
 improving the quality of life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, compared to students in cities, those coming from remote areas can obtain a wider range of knowledge through the
internet
Use synonyms
 and make up for the insufficient resources of the rural education system.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 can promote the growth of the economy. To be more specific, there are no location limitations on completing many things due to the development of the
internet
Use synonyms
, saving our time for transport, so that more people will
access
Use synonyms
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 for various uses,
for example
Linking Words
, online shopping. If demand for goods increases,
this
Linking Words
 will boost supply as well as output, contributing to economic growth. More employment opportunities will be generated, so that unemployed people may land a job easily, increasing their income, which can
also
Linking Words
 improve the economy. While it is undeniable that funding
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 is a good investment, there are other more important public service sectors that need to be invested in,
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals and food. Citizens' basic lives cannot be guaranteed in some underdeveloped nations. If spending a large amount to afford
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
, underprivileged people will have to suffer from a poorer life, which may cause public dissatisfaction with the government In conclusion, based on the above evidence and analysis, admittedly, there are many benefits of investing in the
internet
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, from my point of view, investment in other areas related to basic life is more important, and the government should allocate money to these sectors.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: