Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development
It is quite common for people to live in a nursing home after retiring, some think it is negative.
However
, I argue that it will keep them in mental health and relieve their children's burden.
On the one hand, seniors live in retirement which will improve their mental health. Because there are many people in nursing homes, so
they can communicate and socialize with their friends and are less likely to feel lonely. Correct word choice
apply
Therefore
, it will help them maintain psychological well-being. By contrast
, the elderly who live lonely tend to isolate themselves which could cause mental diseases. For example
, the published reports by UBC show that those who had psychological diseases mostly stayed by themselves, and this
proved that staying in long-term centres is the best way to maintain them in a good mood.
On the other hand
, elderly people who are living in long-term care centres are less likely to rely on their children's responsibility. Because
In retirement they are cared for by professionals, so in general, their offspring just need to visit them on weekends only, which will remain enough time for their work or their families. Correct word choice
apply
While others
who are living on their own may need their children to be concerned for them daily which means it will disrupt their kids' Correct word choice
Others
life
significantly. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For instance
, most Canadian seniors lived
in nursing homes and don't Wrong verb form
live
count
about their kids.
In conclusion, Verb problem
care
although
someone
contends that seniors are better Correct your spelling
some
to live
in their home, staying in long-term care centres is a good solution which helps them stay healthy and avoid bothering their offspring.Change preposition
off living
Submitted by jinyuming896 on
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task response
Provide a clearer stance on whether the development is positive or negative
coherence and cohesion
Add more cohesive devices and linkers to improve the overall coherence and cohesion
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