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increasing number of people are choosing cosmetology surgery to improve their appearance. What are the reasons? Do you think is it a positive or negative development?

#people #cosmetology #surgery #appearance #development
The advancement in medical technology has enabled
people
 to alter their
appearances
.
Due to
this
,
beauty
 surgery and other physical modifications are getting more popular in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Personally, I think
this
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 a positive development.
This
 essay will examine why
people
 are inclined to modify their physical features and elaborate on my stance. Nowadays, physical standards are getting more unrealistic as the
media
 is dominated
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 flawless celebrities, especially in
beauty related
Add a hyphen
beauty-related
show examples
 advertisements.
For some
Change preposition
Some
show examples
people
, when they see these advertisements, they would compare themselves physically and try to
immitate
Correct your spelling
imitate
 the featured model. With countless
media
 promoting models with perfect facial and body features,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can no longer accept their own
appearances
, and they end up resorting to surgery to match the popular standards.
Moreover
, social
media
 is enhancing
this
 effect.
In addition
 to flawless models,
people
 can easily judge each other's
appearances
 online. Without any direct consequences when commenting on social
media
, more
people
 are recklessly bringing
people
 down by commenting negatively on someone's physical features.
This
 has a detrimental effect on some
people
, especially on their self-image, which causes them to be inclined towards changing their
appearances
. In my opinion, self-image and
beauty
 standards should not be determined by others. Each person has their own strengths and weaknesses, and perhaps for some
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 their strength is not in
beauty
. When
people
 cannot find satisfaction or take pride in their looks, they should try to re-evaluate their way of thinking and put emphasis on things that they know they are good at.
To conclude
, I think physical modifications are not a positive development. They imply
unsatisfactory
Correct article usage
an unsatisfactory
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of
Change preposition
with
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self
Correct article usage
the self
show examples
 and set a bad thread of influence in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by sam_danielo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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