Some people think governments should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It is clear that
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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Health
Use synonyms
is one of the main concerns of everyone in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
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some individuals think
that is
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the
goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to track the
level
Use synonyms
of
health
Use synonyms
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
argue that it should be done by the
people
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themselves. In
this
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essay
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,essay
show examples
I will discuss both sides and put some evidence to make them more clear. Nowadays modern governments take care of many things in
country
Add an article
a country
the country
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such
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as primary education and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
Hence
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some
people
Use synonyms
believe that measuring
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
should add to them. And
this
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can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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to the
government
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, reducing the total cost that
people
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spend for curing their
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
.
Consequently
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, The economy of the whole country will become richer.
For instance
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, The UK
government
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has built the NHS healthcare system
which
Correct word choice
and
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all the services
in
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apply
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that
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is
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are
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for
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apply
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free.
As a
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result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
the Uk economy has
bacame
Correct your spelling
become
became
one of the
most rich
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richest
show examples
economies since
then
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.
On the other hand
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, Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that if
people
Use synonyms
mange
Correct your spelling
manage
show examples
that by themselves, it will be better for them and they can improve their
health
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
more than before.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
will only go to
doctor
Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
show examples
if they are extremely sick.
As a result
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, The
level
Use synonyms
of using antibiotics will decline in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and that will bring us
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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benefits.
For example
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, The US
government
Use synonyms
has defined the healthcare system as an industry and
this
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way
people
Use synonyms
first estimate the cost of any
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
and
the
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
will go for it.
Consequently
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,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
US citizens are not immune to antibiotics in comparison to the rest of the world and that's the best point of
this
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deccison
Correct your spelling
decision
which was made by the
government
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before. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
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However
Add a comma
,However
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puting
Correct your spelling
putting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthccare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
measurements
Replace the word
measures
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the goverment's
show examples
goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
shoulders can have some benefits and be a relief to the citizens. But, If the
people
Use synonyms
manage it all by themselves, It will finish to a good point with several benefits.
Submitted by Aryanafraz1997 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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