IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you think that parents should be punished if their five-year-old child commits a crime? From what age should children be held responsible for their own behaviours?

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some argue that if
victim
Add an article
the victim
show examples
 is a child who is five
years
Use synonyms
 old,
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 ought to fine
instead
Linking Words
 of their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 trend and I hold the view that
children
Use synonyms
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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who are under 15
years
Use synonyms
 old had better not punish for their crime and their
parents
Use synonyms
 have
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their crimes. on the one hand, five
years
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 old
children
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 are too young without any
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 and
underestanding
Correct your spelling
understanding
 of what acts or behaviours can be right or wrong. it is the duty of
parents
Use synonyms
 to teach them about
unappropriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
show examples
, deleterious, and antisocial
treats
Correct your spelling
threats
show examples
 and they should supervise the acts of their young
children
Use synonyms
 as they are not predictable and their
fail
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failure
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 to
concieve
Correct your spelling
conceive
 damaging situations and encourage them to perform
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
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 activity and rectify their mistakes .
therefore
Linking Words
, if these
children
Use synonyms
 commit a crime their
parents
Use synonyms
 have obligation to be responder
instead
Linking Words
 of their young girls and boys. on the other have,
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
 under 15 are still raw and vulnerable, they have certain experiences, yet
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 little amount of information
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not sufficient and they require their
parents
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 still contribute to doing some of their personal chores,
whereas
Linking Words
 they imagine have enough expertise and dexterity to step in real life independently and they may
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 some activities through their peer and other people pressures. above mentioned
years
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, possess sufficient skills and information about their countries law as they learn many instructive data at schools and they are more familiar with society.
thus
Linking Words
, they are responsible
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their own acts.
to sum up
Linking Words
, young
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 have to control their
children
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 and avoid them
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 crimes as they are assailable with insufficient knowledge and proficiency and they
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 likely to
Add a missing verb
be impressed
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impressed
Change the form of the verb
impress
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 by other adults and
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
.
in contrast
Linking Words
, elder
children
Use synonyms
 know the crimes and their outcomes.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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