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Band 6.5

In the last century the first man to walk on the moon said it was a great step for mankind . But in fact space travel has made little difference to most people lives today . To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Undoubtedly,
space
 exploration is considered a vital step for mankind by the first moon visitors in the
last
 few decades,
while
 it causes unease for some of the
people
 on earth. I agree that a
space
 visit is a remarkably more convincing matter but other aspects
such
 as investment of funds in improving industrialization , economy and poverty are
also
 essential.
Space
 exploration is
such
 an immense revolution in these modern times. As government pour highly invested in
space
 exploration missions and which enable astronauts to visit the moon by aircraft and can do some research in
space
 .
Due to
space
 navigation ,
people
 are getting to know about their universe and planets and even searching for the availability of various resources on other planets.
Also
,
space
 explorations warn mankind about drastic dangers to the earth
such
 as earthquakes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and collisions with other planets .
As a result
 ,
people
 are able to prepare themselves in case of any sudden disruption.
Moreover
 , those students who are highly interested in
space
 studies will get an opportunity to visit
space
 after undergoing a specific
space
 training program.
For example
, NASA sent some volunteers to Mars to find out crucial information about it.
However
, disbursing funds for
space
 projects is confronting some issues. First of all, there are many underprivileged
people
 in the country who currently need the attention of their national government toward their hard circumstances because they are dying out because of starvation. The
second
 fact is that there are fewer industrial establishments in a country which limit the resources of earning for the population .
As a result
 , many individuals are unemployed and the economy of the country declines at a faster rate.
Therefore
 , regimes should have to give emphasis on these matters
instead
 of concentrating on
space
 travel. In conclusion,
space
 travel is vital in order to obtain information about several matters but other factors that require imminent attention by authorities
such
 as employment issues , lack of resources and construction of industries should be noticed
also
 .
Submitted by bandhana322 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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