Some people believe that violent media directly results in violent behavior. To what ecpend do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #results #behavior #ecpend

Some citizens tend to think that harsh media directly result in aggressive

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

. I totally agree with

this

statement because

news

proyect

Correct your spelling

projects

too much

violence

in their morning information and

radio

shows interview citizens who had fights at nightclubs. One reason is that many

programs

are addicted to

present

Wrong verb form

presenting

show examples

aggressive information that reveals too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

details of an accident because they want to catch people's attention.

Firstly

, they select a piece of the

news

where

Correct word choice

which

show examples

there are drastic pictures or obscene words to impact

audience

Add an article

the audience

show examples

and increase their

raitings

Correct your spelling

ratings

Moreover

, many of these

programs

contact people who suffer from a violent situation or disease and they record them in hospitals or

prisions

Correct your spelling

prisons

As a result

, adults might be affected

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show examples

their

hebaviors

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behaviours

due to

see

Wrong verb form

seeing

show examples

too much

violence

on daily basis.

For instance

Fox 11

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is well-known to present explicit information about

accident

Fix the agreement mistake

accidents

show examples

regaldless

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regardless

Correct your spelling

show examples

this

is morning time, and society is

accostum

Correct your spelling

accustom

Wrong verb form

searching

show examples

for

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

news

. Another reason is that many

radio

programs

tend to interview young adults who had recently fought at nightclubs and these interviews are extended even for a week.

Besides

this

, the

radio

announcer

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

fun of these vulnerable situations that

negativelly

Correct your spelling

negatively

influence teenagers'

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

because they believe

this

is a funny situation.

Furthermore

, these teens suppose that all these negative events are normal in

today

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today's

show examples

society and they conduct themselves in a violent way as normal. To explain

further

, Channel 13 Los Angeles has

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

audience because they record people at nightclubs who had been

cheeted

Correct your spelling

cheated

Change preposition

show examples

their couples, and

this

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

a lot of

audience

Change to a plural noun

audiences

show examples

To conclude

, I strongly believe

violence

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

violence

Change preposition

to violence

show examples

, and all the things an individual sees might affect their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

soon or later. What is worse is that young generations are growing up believing

this

is a normal situation because many

and

radio

programs

spreads

Change the verb form

spread

show examples

these

Correct determiner usage

this

show examples

type of

news

Submitted by cuevas14dic on Tue Jan 24 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that violent media directly results in violent behavior. To what ecpend do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think that the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?