In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childern themselves at home istead of sending them school. Do the advantage of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #childern #home #istead #school #advantage #education

Recently, more and more

parents

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would like to teach their

childern

Correct your spelling

children

home

rather than letting them learn at school in some countries. I am of the opinion that it is more likely to have a harmful impact on

Add an article

the pupil

a pupil

show examples

pupil

Fix the agreement mistake

pupils

show examples

Firstly

, schools have

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

professional learning

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

than homeschooling.

Secondly

, offspring can learn and share their opinions with each other.

Thera

Correct your spelling

There

show examples

are

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show examples

a number of positives to

home

education

Parents

can control the information received via

childern

Correct your spelling

children

through

homeschool

Wrong verb form

homeschooling

show examples

For instance

, if

parents

are not able to conduct lessons during the day, they may

decided

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decide

show examples

to teach their offspring early in the morning or in the evening after returning the work. They feel comfortable and learn

easy

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easily

show examples

home

On the other hand

, I would argue that the disadvantages of

education

home

are benefits

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the drawbacks.

Firstly

childern

Correct your spelling

children

taught by

parents

tend to lack interaction with their peers, and

as a result

, they may grow up to be shy,

introvered

Correct your spelling

introverted

introvert

and dependent individuals.

In addition

, I

also

disagree

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

idea of homeschooling because

childern

Correct your spelling

children

are not provided with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

proof of graduation when taught at

home

. If no official document,

such

as a school

sertificate

Correct your spelling

certificate

school-level

Correct word choice

or school-level

show examples

education

it is less that they can

futher

Correct your spelling

further

their

education

at a college or university. In conclusion,

home

education

has both pros and cons.

However

, despite some

advantages

Add a comma

,advantages

show examples

I strongly believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it had

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apply

show examples

some

negatively

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negative

show examples

effects on young learners.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Jan 24 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

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Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childern themselves at home istead of sending them school. Do the advantage of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, people stored knowledge in the book. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car fridge and tv do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages

Some people say that having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays，a lot of people enjoy watching sports on TV. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?what changes you like to see in this century?