In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childern themselves at home istead of sending them school. Do the advantage of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Recently, more and more
parents
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would like to teach their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
at
home
rather than letting them learn at school in some countries. I am of the opinion that it is more likely to have a harmful impact on
Add an article
the pupil
a pupil
show examples
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
.
Firstly
, schools have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
professional learning
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
than homeschooling.
Secondly
, offspring can learn and share their opinions with each other.
Thera
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a number of positives to
home
education
.
Parents
can control the information received via
childern
Correct your spelling
children
through
homeschool
Wrong verb form
homeschooling
show examples
.
For instance
, if
parents
are not able to conduct lessons during the day, they may
decided
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
to teach their offspring early in the morning or in the evening after returning the work. They feel comfortable and learn
easy
Change the adjective
easily
show examples
at
home
.
On the other hand
, I would argue that the disadvantages of
education
at
home
are benefits
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the drawbacks.
Firstly
,
childern
Correct your spelling
children
taught by
parents
tend to lack interaction with their peers, and
as a result
, they may grow up to be shy,
introvered
Correct your spelling
introverted
introvert
and dependent individuals.
In addition
, I
also
disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
idea of homeschooling because
childern
Correct your spelling
children
are not provided with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proof of graduation when taught at
home
. If no official document,
such
as a school
sertificate
Correct your spelling
certificate
,
school-level
Correct word choice
or school-level
show examples
education
it is less that they can
futher
Correct your spelling
further
their
education
at a college or university. In conclusion,
home
education
has both pros and cons.
However
, despite some
advantages
Add a comma
,advantages
show examples
I strongly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
negatively
Change the adverb
negative
show examples
effects on young learners.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: