Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?
The enormous growth in the opening
gyms
over the Change preposition
of gyms
last
decades has not led to a change to a more fit lifestyle, quite the contrary it can be observed that a sedentary Linking Words
style
Verb problem
lifestyle has
becomes
popular. Wrong verb form
become
Although
serious problems have arisen Linking Words
as a result
of Linking Words
this
, there are solutions.
One of the first problems of the not active life is Linking Words
a
rapid gain of weight, which is a very dangerous illness for health. It has been noted in some countries that people die Correct article usage
apply
as a result
of obesity. It is a consequence of a large number of fast food Linking Words
such
as Mcdonald's or KFC offers. Linking Words
Although
Linking Words
,
the citizens have an opportunity to exercise in sports facilities, they prefer to consume more and more unhealthy meals, because it is easier. As can be expected they got overweight and started to feel frustrated and have illnesses Remove the comma
apply
such
as lower immunity. Another major problem is the difficulty concentrating, particularly on one task. It implies that our job or study results are worse than before and we have to put more effort Linking Words
to achieve
success. Change preposition
into achieving
In addition
, people with a lack of concentration might lose their things, forget about responsibilities, and have planning difficulties.
It is important that action is taken to combat these problems. Governments should ensure that adequate legislation and controls are in place that will prevent fast food restaurants from offering harmful meals and people of every age from accessing them so simply. Linking Words
However
, citizens Linking Words
also
have a part to play. They need to change one hour of Netflix into running or playing tennis twice a week Linking Words
for
the beginning. Sports companies must Change preposition
in
also
improve the advertisement system to show more benefits from a fit lifestyle and to motivate every lazy person.
Linking Words
To conclude
, a sedentary lifestyle is more comfortable than exercising these days, which results in obesity and bad feeling. Linking Words
However
, with the right action by individuals, governments and businesses, it can be made more healthy for everyone.Linking Words
Submitted by nataliejakubowska on
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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt but lacks sufficient development and explanation. It's important to provide more detailed responses, explaining the problems associated with a sedentary lifestyle and the solutions in more depth.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of the main points needs improvement. Try to use linking words and phrases to create a stronger sense of organization and coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.