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Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this problem? What can be done to encourage more walking?

#health #people #exercise
Participating in physical
activities
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 walking has several advantages for individuals’ health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
However
, the number of
people
 who indulge in walking is decreasing
due to
 a number of reasons
nevertheless
 there are actions that can be taken in order to tackle the problem.
To begin
 with, one of the vital factors which caused a reduction in the amount of time spent on walking is the fact that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system and vehicles
such
 as automobiles offer more convenient and faster alternatives in terms of
transporting
Replace the word
transport
show examples
,
although
people
 might spend some time in traffic during the rush hours.
For example
, employees who work in a Hetrick city drive to work or take a cap.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 since
people
 can place their orders online, they prefer online shopping rather than going to a mall or grocery store which leads
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 staying at home
instead
 of going out and having some physical
activities
.
For instance
, many consumers used to go to Highstreet but
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
people
 use their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 brand’s webpage to make their purchases
while
 sitting on a couch. One of the steps that can be taken to address the problem is to encourage
people
 to take part in physical
activities
 by offering group
activities
such
 as walking challenges. To exemplify “
Samsung
Correct article usage
The Samsung
show examples
 health” application can count the number of steps that
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 users take and shows their worldwide ranking which may help
people
 be more active by being involved in a competition. In conclusion, I would say that the convenience and speed of commuting vehicles and technologies like online shopping platforms can lower the amount of time that
people
 spend on walking which can be solved by taking measures like involving individuals in a group activity.
Submitted by mahla.mirzaei on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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