Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this problem? What can be done to encourage more walking?

#health #people #exercise

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Participating in physical

activities

Use synonyms

specially

Replace the word

especially

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walking has several advantages for individuals’ health

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

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However

Linking Words

, the number of

people

Use synonyms

who indulge in walking is decreasing

due to

Linking Words

a number of reasons

nevertheless

Linking Words

there are actions that can be taken in order to tackle the problem.

To begin

Linking Words

with, one of the vital factors which caused a reduction in the amount of time spent on walking is the fact that

public

Correct article usage

the public

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transport system and vehicles

such

Linking Words

as automobiles offer more convenient and faster alternatives in terms of

transporting

Replace the word

transport

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although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

might spend some time in traffic during the rush hours.

For example

Linking Words

, employees who work in a Hetrick city drive to work or take a cap.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

,hand

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since

people

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can place their orders online, they prefer online shopping rather than going to a mall or grocery store which leads

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staying at home

instead

Linking Words

of going out and having some physical

activities

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, many consumers used to go to Highstreet but

now days

Correct the word

nowadays

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people

Use synonyms

use their

favorite

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favourite

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brand’s webpage to make their purchases

while

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sitting on a couch. One of the steps that can be taken to address the problem is to encourage

people

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to take part in physical

activities

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by offering group

activities

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such

Linking Words

as walking challenges. To exemplify “

Samsung

Correct article usage

The Samsung

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health” application can count the number of steps that

it’s

Correct your spelling

its

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users take and shows their worldwide ranking which may help

people

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be more active by being involved in a competition. In conclusion, I would say that the convenience and speed of commuting vehicles and technologies like online shopping platforms can lower the amount of time that

people

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spend on walking which can be solved by taking measures like involving individuals in a group activity.

Submitted by mahla.mirzaei on Wed Jan 25 2023

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

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Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this problem? What can be done to encourage more walking?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, obesity is increasing, especially among children. One solution is to increase the tax on food and drinks which contain large amounts of sugar. How effective is this solution? What other measures would be effective?