Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star and sport personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

this

Linking Words

era of modernisation, everyone wants to become a superstar.

However

Linking Words

, it has

been always

Correct word order

always been

show examples

a topic of discussion that the famous

life

Use synonyms

of a film star or a sportsperson brings advantages or disadvantages for that personality.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss how an individual has to face the problems of being a renowned character in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

terms of

privacy

Use synonyms

and safety.

To begin

Linking Words

with, a popular star or a sportsperson has to compromise

for

Change preposition

show examples

their private

life

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

because of their popularity.

For instance

Linking Words

, the media of any country

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

show examples

interest

Correct article usage

an interest

show examples

in the figure's

life

Use synonyms

and activities more than anything

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they want to search for everything about that person

, when

Punctuation problem

. When

show examples

they publish the information,

Linking Words

then

Rephrase

apply

show examples

there is

not

Rephrase

apply

show examples

any

Correct determiner usage

show examples

hidden information or

privacy

Use synonyms

remaining for the figure.

Also

Linking Words

, these days lots of newspapers and magazines want to write books and articles about popular

personality's

Check wording

personalities'

show examples

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, so famous personalities can not hide their information or secrets.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the media plays a crucial role

to provide

Change preposition

in providing

show examples

every little word about the renowned characters, even during their

visiting

Replace the word

visits

show examples

also

Linking Words

. So, the whole world knows about the activities of their favourites

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

sometimes it proves as a benefit for the haters.

For example

Linking Words

, every single famous personality has fans

as well as

Linking Words

haters

Punctuation problem

haters,

show examples

too

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

some people are in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

favour of their favourite celebrities

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

a chunk of folks are against those

ones

Check wording

who are

show examples

popular. If strangers

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

know about the trips and tours for the famous human,

then

Linking Words

there are higher chances for them to hurt the celebrities.

Overall

Linking Words

, there is

not

Rephrase

apply

show examples

any

Correct determiner usage

show examples

safety or

privacy

Use synonyms

for the renowned individual.

To conclude

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay discussed that

this

Linking Words

lifestyle brings danger in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

terms of

privacy

Use synonyms

and safety for every

figure

Check wording

individual

show examples

. In my opinion, I

also

Linking Words

admit that

this

Linking Words

growth style brings problems for the film star or sports individual

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

compared to the benefits.

jazz

Jan 25, 2023

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grammar

Use shorter, clear sentences. Break long lines into two or three parts.

task response

Add a balanced view. Mention both good and bad sides, with a clear stance.

content

Give more concrete examples about fame, such as paparazzi rules or social media safety, to support points.

lexical

Check word choice. Avoid casual words like haters; use neutral terms.

coherence

Improve structure with a clear intro, two body paragraphs (problems and benefits), and a short conclusion; use linking words.

strength

The essay has a clear topic and an ending stance.

strength

It gives some examples of privacy problems.

strength

There is a logical order in some parts of the text.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star and sport personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Long distant flights uses more fuel than cars and brings pollution to the environment. We should discourage non-essential flight rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificial intelligence robots. What is your opinion?