Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star and sport personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

In
this
Linking Words
era of modernisation, everyone wants to become a superstar.
However
Linking Words
, it has
been always
Correct word order
always been
show examples
a topic of discussion that the famous
life
Use synonyms
of a film star or a sportsperson brings advantages or disadvantages for that personality.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss how an individual has to face the problems of being a renowned character in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of
privacy
Use synonyms
and safety.
To begin
Linking Words
with, a popular star or a sportsperson has to compromise
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their private
life
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
because of their popularity.
For instance
Linking Words
, the media of any country
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
in the figure's
life
Use synonyms
and activities more than anything
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
they want to search for everything about that person
, when
Punctuation problem
. When
show examples
they publish the information,
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
there is
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
hidden information or
privacy
Use synonyms
remaining for the figure.
Also
Linking Words
, these days lots of newspapers and magazines want to write books and articles about popular
personality's
Check wording
personalities'
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, so famous personalities can not hide their information or secrets.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the media plays a crucial role
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
show examples
every little word about the renowned characters, even during their
visiting
Replace the word
visits
show examples
also
Linking Words
. So, the whole world knows about the activities of their favourites
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
sometimes it proves as a benefit for the haters.
For example
Linking Words
, every single famous personality has fans
as well as
Linking Words
haters
Punctuation problem
haters,
show examples
too
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
some people are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour of their favourite celebrities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
a chunk of folks are against those
ones
Check wording
who are
show examples
popular. If strangers
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
know about the trips and tours for the famous human,
then
Linking Words
there are higher chances for them to hurt the celebrities.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
safety or
privacy
Use synonyms
for the renowned individual.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
essay discussed that
this
Linking Words
lifestyle brings danger in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of
privacy
Use synonyms
and safety for every
figure
Check wording
individual
show examples
. In my opinion, I
also
Linking Words
admit that
this
Linking Words
growth style brings problems for the film star or sports individual
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
compared to the benefits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Use shorter, clear sentences. Break long lines into two or three parts.
task response
Add a balanced view. Mention both good and bad sides, with a clear stance.
content
Give more concrete examples about fame, such as paparazzi rules or social media safety, to support points.
lexical
Check word choice. Avoid casual words like haters; use neutral terms.
coherence
Improve structure with a clear intro, two body paragraphs (problems and benefits), and a short conclusion; use linking words.
strength
The essay has a clear topic and an ending stance.
strength
It gives some examples of privacy problems.
strength
There is a logical order in some parts of the text.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

What to do next:
Look at other essays: