IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

All children should learn to speak a foreign language as soon as they start school.’ How far do you agree with this proposal? How important is it for a child to learn a foreign language?

#children #language #school #child
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In
modern
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the modern
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 globalization era, having fluent bilingual languages is one of the most popular skills in the
labor
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labour
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 market.
Therefore
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,
Department
Correct article usage
the Department
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 of Education should be settled foreign
language
Use synonyms
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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 in
Add an article
the
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education system from child care. Personally, It seems to me that
educate
Replace the word
education
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 as
earlier
Rephrase
early
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 as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
Learning
Correct article usage
a
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foreign
language
Use synonyms
 in early childhood
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 enormous advantages, and I will explain
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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why. First of all, having second
language
Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 is
valuable
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a valuable
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 asset. In
Job
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the Job
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market
Capitalize word
Market
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, Companies tend to hire multilingual candidates first
due to
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 globalization. Especially in multinational companies and huge organizations,
this
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 means that multi-
language
Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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making
Wrong verb form
make
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high rate
Add a hyphen
high-rate
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 salary
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
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 effortlessly. For example, working as an accountant position, having few languages, in
multinational
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a multinational
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 company,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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high
Correct word choice
higher
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rate
Correct your spelling
higher
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 salary than in others.
Moreover
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, the second reason is that it helps to develop
left
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the left
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 side of
brain
Add an article
the brain
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in
Change preposition
at
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same
Add an article
the same
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 time. The researchers assume that
left
Correct article usage
the left
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 side of the brain is responsible for
language
Use synonyms
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children between the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 of 2 and 7
are
Verb problem
have
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 the highest ability to learn in
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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. Starting to Learn
alien
Correct article usage
an alien
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language
Use synonyms
 from those ages is more effective
to become
Change preposition
in becoming
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more
Add an article
a more
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 likely native speaker and
high
Replace the word
highly
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 efficient
to develop
Change preposition
in developing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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left-brain functions
such
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 as numbers skills, logic, written, analytic thought and reasoning. The final important reason why broadens children’s
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
.
New
Correct article usage
A new
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language
Use synonyms
 brings
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of benefits
on
Change preposition
to
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them
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 personal development.
For instance
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, multi-
language
Use synonyms
 children enhance their social skills, introduce new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 and new experiences and communicate with outside of
world
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the world
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. I do appreciate that some people think differently, saying that children
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firstly
Change the word
first
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 have to learn their mother
language
Use synonyms
 fluently before
second
Correct article usage
a second
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language
Use synonyms
.
While
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mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 is important, of course, I feel they can able to learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
languages
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Add an article
the same
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 time.
To conclude
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, it seems that learning
new
Add an article
a new
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language
Use synonyms
 in early childhood is more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
, not just for fluent speaker but
also
Linking Words
 for their
further
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 career pathway and brain and personal development reasons. We should prepare world
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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