In some countries, more and more parents begin to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school #trend

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Nowadays, many teenagers learn in their homes by their

parents

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instead

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of going to school in many places around the world. Personally, I believe that the drawbacks of

home

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learning are more significant than

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

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benefits, and the following paragraphs will elaborate more on that. On the one hand, learning at

home

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includes some demerits. The primary one is that

number

Correct article usage

a number

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parents

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are unqualified to teach all subjects.

However

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, every subject at school has a teacher who has unique qualifications to teach it.

Moreover

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, nowadays, numerous

parents

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are working the whole day to make a living.

As a result

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, there will not be enough time to teach their sons or daughters. So they will face the issue that one of them must leave his work to make their children well-educated.

On the other hand

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, teaching children at

home

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involves some merits.

To begin

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with, at the adult age, many students become criminals.

For instance

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, there is American research found that about 37 % of prisoners are students between the

age

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ages

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of 15 and 20. So learning them at

home

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will avoid victim results.

Furthermore

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, Some countries do not have a sufficient number of schools.

In addition

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, some district places do not have any schools near them, and

as a consequence

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, there is no choice

rather

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other

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than

home

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learning.In my opinion, I believe that these advantages can be easily replaced by building schools and releasing more laws at colleges. In conclusion,

Although

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home

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learning would include some advantages

such

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as avoiding being criminals. In my point of view, I think that the disadvantages of

this

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policy

such

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as unqualified and working

parents

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are more significant.

Submitted by rehameldweik on Wed Jan 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion lack clarity and coherence. It is important to clearly introduce your stance and summarize your main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

Your response partially addresses the prompt by outlining both advantages and disadvantages of home learning. However, it lacks depth and fails to provide a clear position and thorough analysis of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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In some countries, more and more parents begin to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that government should control the amount of violation in films and on television to control crimes in society How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlegde or experience

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days, many parents teach their children at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling.

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?