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In some countries, more and more parents begin to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school #trend
Nowadays, many teenagers learn in their homes by their
parents
instead
 of going to school in many places around the world. Personally, I believe that the drawbacks of
home
 learning are more significant than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 benefits, and the following paragraphs will elaborate more on that. On the one hand, learning at
home
 includes some demerits. The primary one is that
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of
parents
 are unqualified to teach all subjects.
However
, every subject at school has a teacher who has unique qualifications to teach it.
Moreover
, nowadays, numerous
parents
 are working the whole day to make a living.
As a result
, there will not be enough time to teach their sons or daughters. So they will face the issue that one of them must leave his work to make their children well-educated.
On the other hand
, teaching children at
home
 involves some merits.
To begin
 with, at the adult age, many students become criminals.
For instance
, there is American research found that about 37 % of prisoners are students between the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of 15 and 20. So learning them at
home
 will avoid victim results.
Furthermore
, Some countries do not have a sufficient number of schools.
In addition
, some district places do not have any schools near them, and
as a consequence
, there is no choice
rather
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
 than
home
 learning.In my opinion, I believe that these advantages can be easily replaced by building schools and releasing more laws at colleges. In conclusion,
Although
home
 learning would include some advantages
such
 as avoiding being criminals. In my point of view, I think that the disadvantages of
this
 policy
such
 as unqualified and working
parents
 are more significant.
Submitted by rehameldweik on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion lack clarity and coherence. It is important to clearly introduce your stance and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your response partially addresses the prompt by outlining both advantages and disadvantages of home learning. However, it lacks depth and fails to provide a clear position and thorough analysis of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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