In some countries, more and more parents begin to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, many teenagers learn in their homes by their
parents
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instead
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of going to school in many places around the world. Personally, I believe that the drawbacks of
home
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learning are more significant than
its
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their
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benefits, and the following paragraphs will elaborate more on that. On the one hand, learning at
home
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includes some demerits. The primary one is that
number
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a number
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of
parents
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are unqualified to teach all subjects.
However
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, every subject at school has a teacher who has unique qualifications to teach it.
Moreover
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, nowadays, numerous
parents
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are working the whole day to make a living.
As a result
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, there will not be enough time to teach their sons or daughters. So they will face the issue that one of them must leave his work to make their children well-educated.
On the other hand
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, teaching children at
home
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involves some merits.
To begin
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with, at the adult age, many students become criminals.
For instance
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, there is American research found that about 37 % of prisoners are students between the
age
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ages
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of 15 and 20. So learning them at
home
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will avoid victim results.
Furthermore
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, Some countries do not have a sufficient number of schools.
In addition
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, some district places do not have any schools near them, and
as a consequence
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, there is no choice
rather
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other
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than
home
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learning.In my opinion, I believe that these advantages can be easily replaced by building schools and releasing more laws at colleges. In conclusion,
Although
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home
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learning would include some advantages
such
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as avoiding being criminals. In my point of view, I think that the disadvantages of
this
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policy
such
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as unqualified and working
parents
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are more significant.
Submitted by rehameldweik on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion lack clarity and coherence. It is important to clearly introduce your stance and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your response partially addresses the prompt by outlining both advantages and disadvantages of home learning. However, it lacks depth and fails to provide a clear position and thorough analysis of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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