Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People have different opinions regarding the retirement age.As advanced medical treatments not only the chances of early death but

also

increased

Wrong verb form

increase

show examples

the demand for working-age years .The essay will elaborate on how the health issues of the generation can impact the efficiency of performance and company

finance

Fix the agreement mistake

finances

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Whereas

, the involvement of experienced employees can not be ignored in the decision-making process. Set the wheel in motion, there are several reasons to keep the

working-age

Correct your spelling

working age

show examples

short.The lack of IT skills and modern devices today is the primary cause is that the employer choosing younger communities over old ones.

Also

, production efficiency decreases after a certain old age because of health issues

such

as low vision, and high blood pressure. The organizations have to pay high salaries to the employees

due to

their long employment periods and the old

aged

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

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can not

job

Verb problem

work

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at the same speed as they used to .

This

is another reason to keep a certain retirement maturity for the crowd. Hiring a youngster is a pocket-friendly option for the workplace which provides them with more tasks for less wages. As every coin has two sides,

this

issue is not an exception. There are numerous jobs which require an experienced person

such

as management jobs.By providing part-time management jobs , an employer can keep an old employee , who can provide guidance to the newcomers. At the same time , the salary helps to give financial security to the old age group.

Moreover

, short-term work keeps a person away from the boredom of life. Taking everything into consideration, I would like to say that occupation in the

old

Fix the agreement mistake

older

show examples

generation helps to balance their personal and financial problems

along with

utilizing their experienced skills.

However

, the limitations of the working hours will save the company money

as well as

provide employment opportunities to the youth.

Submitted by ranusukh77 on Wed Jan 25 2023

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Task Achievement

Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task. You have presented clear ideas and supported them with relevant examples.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion need to be more developed to provide a stronger framework for your ideas. Additionally, work on linking your ideas more effectively to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
workforce
mentorship
mental and physical health
community engagement
rapidly changing work environments
economic stability
age discrimination
workplace adjustments
financial strain
pension systems
diversifying
creativity
problem-solving
retirement norms
flexible working hours
part-time positions

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Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion