Some people think that private schools have many advantages while others think there have many drawbacks for the community. Discuss both sides and give an opinion

Private
schools
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been cropping up nowadays as a great option to pursue higher education.
While
some people encourage
students
to choose private
schools
as it offers several positive outputs, others think
otherwise
.
This
essay will discuss both sides and give a concluding view. On the one
had
Correct your spelling
hand
show examples
, those who support attending private
schools
believe the
various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefits are given to their
students
. As private
schools
are required
students
to pay tuition fee per semester, it turns out
make
Add the particle
to make
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
get more well-developed
facilities
as opposed to public
school
, which is based on government taxes. In terms of human resources, it can be seen that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of private
schools
are hiring
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
with a great background in their field, meaning that
students
are more convenient to study in small-sized of
Add an article
the group
a group
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
and choose their own interests.
While
regading
Correct your spelling
regarding
reading
the
facilities
, it
is
Change the verb form
also provides
show examples
also
provide several fancy
facilities
,
such
as
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
pool, student dormitory, canteen and so on, making
students
can distribute their hobby outside the class schedule
setting
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set
show examples
.
On the other hand
, opponents of
this
point out that there are several drawbacks
choosing
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to choosing
show examples
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, where the social gap is getting higher. In fact, all
facilities
provided by private
schools
are costly,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not always tolerate by
middle income
Add a hyphen
middle-income
show examples
households.
Students
who live in an unstable
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
will not fit in the community,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most of the
students
are coming from
rich
Add an article
a rich
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, where they are using high-end brands
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
school
. What
it
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
they can not adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
kind of environment and
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their academic performance?
Overall
, it seems advisable that the decision to choose whether
attending
Change the verb form
to attend
show examples
private or public
school
should meet with
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
capacity of each family, rather than
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
mere prestige that all children should undergo to private
schools
. It would appear that
this
would make
students
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more convenient and pleasant to study in a match study environment.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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