IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Students leave highschool without learning how to manage money.Causes and solutions for this issues.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, pupils are graduated
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 having
knowledge
Change the article
the knowledge
show examples
 to manage
money
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 reasons and
petinent
Correct your spelling
prominent
 remedies
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the above statement in the ensuing paragraphs. In Today's world schools are not updating their syllabus annually based on the changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To elaborate, in any
curriculam
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 either in Central Board or Province Board they
donth
Correct your spelling
don't
 have any teachings on managing
money
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 youngsters are facing more struggles to manage his / her daily routine expenses.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by Oxford University in London found that 50% of adolescents are having more stress on handling
money
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 are not
giving
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
 to
handling
Wrong verb form
handle
show examples
 their own home budget to teenagers.
Hence
Linking Words
 chances of gaining knowledge on
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the youth
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very less. A possible solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem is to be,
parents
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to believe
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their children and slowly
adding
Wrong verb form
add
show examples
 up the responsibility
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 handling
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 budget. To clarify,
parents
Use synonyms
 would be overviewing and
guide
Wrong verb form
guiding
show examples
 younglings in spending vs saving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, tutors would take a lead role and
adding
Wrong verb form
add
show examples
 up
an extra sessions
Correct the article-noun agreement
extra sessions
an extra session
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every month on economics followed by managing
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
 to higher grade students.
For Instance
Linking Words
, showcasing the pros and cons of using credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 and loans. To
recapitualte
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
, youngsters graduating from school
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 having proper knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 will
further
Linking Words
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to many issues.
Parents
Use synonyms
 and Tutors
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to guide and lead them
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 they correct mistakes. Government has to introduce new mandatory
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
show examples
 help pupils.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: