IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking the for education and constantly facing under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #education #pressure
It is common practice today, that some
students
work
 part-time between their studies for an extra income.
This
 occasional
work
 amidst courses, affects their concentration and consequentially, put the pupils under stress resulting in poor academic outcomes. Though the root cause of
this
 practice is mainly economic compulsions, and in my essay, I shall discuss the problems and probable solutions with suitable examples. The main reason, for working between educational curricula, is the lack of sufficient resources to fund syllabi.
While
 higher education has become very expensive and has become beyond the scope of most middle-income families.
Moreover
 studying far in different lands has its extra share of expenses which needs to be addressed. Extra earnings
also
 help
students
 to indulge in small pleasures which are normal for their age,like buying some foods in restaurants and buying costly necessities
such
 as books. For ,example ,most foreign admission in Canada for higher education, are forced to endeavour in order to provide income for sustenance during the study period. To counter the adverse effects of jobbing
along with
 study, the
work
 hours must be regulated to ensure that the
students
 get enough time to study and rest.
Moreover
, the nature of the job they do has to be clearly defined, so as to ensure that mental stress is minimised.
For example
 , in Norway , university scholars are allowed to
work
 only for twenty hours per week and in clearly stated professions not involving hard labour. Conclusively, we can reiterate, that owing to financial compulsions,
this
 working phenomenon of the scholarly , cannot be ignored or mitigated,
however
, with rules and regulations, we can be able to eradicate the harmful effects of the same and ensure that
students
 remain true to their main purpose.
Submitted by hindolroy7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: