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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that private schools have many advantages while others think there have many drawbacks for the community. Discuss both sides and give an opinion

#people #schools #community
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It is true that private
schools
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 have become a huge
sectore
Correct your spelling
sector
 of any educational system all over the world, whether in developed or developing countries,
while
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 it has many
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 effects on the community, it has
also
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 a negative side, I would argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin
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 with, why private
schools
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 took the attention and had
this
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 growth in recent years, the obvious reason is that people
Add a missing verb
have loss
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loss
Replace the word
lost
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 trust in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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free
education
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 and public
schools
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by
Change preposition
over
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the
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apply
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time,
for example
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 in Egypt people prefer to make their children study in privates
schools
Use synonyms
 rather than public ones through all
education
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 periods. It will lead us to the advantages of
this
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 trend,
firstly
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, it will serve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society by providing qualified workers had a
high quality
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high-quality
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education
Use synonyms
,
as a result
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,
this
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 workforce could accomplish the
develpment
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development
for
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of
show examples
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
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economy
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 and all other sectors.
For example
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, in Japan, the skilled workers who had perfect
education
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 make the country
in
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on
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 the front line.
On the other hand
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, the disadvantages of private
education
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 and the malignant effect on society are shown on many sides.
Firstly
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, it raises feelings of discrimination against
poor
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the poor
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 class,
for instance
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, there is a theory in Egypt that only the offspring of the rich class can afford the fees of private
schools
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,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result, more careless toward public
schools
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.
Secondly
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, it has become a source of investment
not
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,not
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 a vital
sectore
Correct your spelling
sector
sectors
 for the nation to care about,
for example
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, some private
schools
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 pay huge taxes and raise the fees to make a profit, no matter the quality of subjects or
enhancing
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enhancement
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students
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students'
student's
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 services. In conclusion,
while
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 private
schools
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 have some drawbacks and some minor effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, in the
end
Add the comma(s)
,end
show examples
 I see that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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