Prevention is better than cure. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

Recently numerous
diseases
are showing up in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society getting
a monetary arrangements
Correct the article-noun agreement
a monetary arrangement
monetary arrangements
show examples
for the treatment related to these
diseases
is
also
expensive. It
is argue
Change the verb form
is argued
show examples
that spending money on creating awareness to avoid
diseases
is much better than
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
identifying and treating them. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
I would encourage
to look
Change the verb form
looking
show examples
over funding more on preventative measures rather than treating
diseases
.
Firstly
it is better to look forward
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
taking care of ourselves from the
diseases
that would cause us tiredness, dizziness, vomiting and several other symptoms
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
leading to
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of pain,
weakening
Correct word choice
and weakening
show examples
body strength stops us from doing routine work. And sometimes these may lead to death. For
this
purpose
Add a comma
,purpose
show examples
if we take earlier precautions by sanitizing our hands frequently,
wearing
Correct word choice
and wearing
show examples
masks in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
polluted areas,
parents
Correct word choice
and parents
show examples
educating their offspring regarding these basic aids helps them to stay away from
these deadly
Change the determiner
this deadly disease
these deadly diseases
show examples
disease
.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
it is not only part of the individuals in the society, government should
also
take a big leap towards maintaining a healthy and
hygiene
Replace the word
hygienic
show examples
society by advertising, educating and implementing appropriate policies regarding the precautionary steps to be taken by the individuals.
In addition
to
this
introducing lessons in elementary schools towards the importance of maintaining
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle which makes children very cautious about the
disease
.
To conclude
although
investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
experimentation and medicating the
disease
might be a good way,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it is not particularly advisable.
Therefore
believing in funding more towards the precautionary steps is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
approach
Add the particle
to approach
show examples
than researching the
disease
.
Submitted by nlchiranth11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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