IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Prevention is better than cure. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #cure #diseases #measures
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Recently numerous
diseases
Use synonyms
 are showing up in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society getting
a monetary arrangements
Correct the article-noun agreement
a monetary arrangement
monetary arrangements
show examples
 for the treatment related to these
diseases
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 expensive. It
is argue
Change the verb form
is argued
show examples
 that spending money on creating awareness to avoid
diseases
Use synonyms
 is much better than
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
identifying and treating them. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I would encourage
to look
Change the verb form
looking
show examples
 over funding more on preventative measures rather than treating
diseases
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 it is better to look forward
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking care of ourselves from the
diseases
Use synonyms
 that would cause us tiredness, dizziness, vomiting and several other symptoms
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 leading to
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of pain,
weakening
Correct word choice
and weakening
show examples
 body strength stops us from doing routine work. And sometimes these may lead to death. For
this
Linking Words
purpose
Add a comma
,purpose
show examples
 if we take earlier precautions by sanitizing our hands frequently,
wearing
Correct word choice
and wearing
show examples
 masks in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
polluted areas,
parents
Correct word choice
and parents
show examples
 educating their offspring regarding these basic aids helps them to stay away from
these deadly
Change the determiner
this deadly disease
these deadly diseases
show examples
disease
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 it is not only part of the individuals in the society, government should
also
Linking Words
 take a big leap towards maintaining a healthy and
hygiene
Replace the word
hygienic
show examples
 society by advertising, educating and implementing appropriate policies regarding the precautionary steps to be taken by the individuals.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 introducing lessons in elementary schools towards the importance of maintaining
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle which makes children very cautious about the
disease
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
although
Linking Words
 investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 experimentation and medicating the
disease
Use synonyms
 might be a good way,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it is not particularly advisable.
Therefore
Linking Words
 believing in funding more towards the precautionary steps is
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
approach
Add the particle
to approach
show examples
 than researching the
disease
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nlchiranth11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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