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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph and the table show the
population
Use synonyms
 growth in
five
Use synonyms
 metropolitan
cities
Use synonyms
 in the world. The bar graph shows the data from the year 1970 to 2010,
whereas
Linking Words
, the table provides the data from 1950 and 2010.
Finally
Linking Words
, the line chart compares urban and rural world populations from 1980 to 2010. It can be seen from both the bar graph and the table that Tokyo had a rapid jump in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 over the three decades (1970 to 2010), surpassing New York's
population
Use synonyms
 which took first place in the top
five
Use synonyms
 biggest
cities
Use synonyms
' populations in 1950. Bombay's people
also
Linking Words
 had a dramatic increase by
five
Use synonyms
 times from 1970 to 2010, replacing London as the
second
Linking Words
 highest
population
Use synonyms
. Following that, Jakarta's
population
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 had a steep rise and was making it into the top
five
Use synonyms
 of the biggest
cities
Use synonyms
 in 2010,
along with
Linking Words
 Tokyo, Bombay, Lagos, and Shanghai. The line chart shows that the figure of people living in urban areas is increasing gradually and the rural community is declining slightly. From 2004, it can be seen there was an overlap between the figures for urban and rural populations.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 notes the beginning of the growth and decline in the total of people living in the downtown and villages, respectively. It is expected that the growth of the
population
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 will rise even
further
Linking Words
 over time.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, five, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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