IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Other's however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #punishment
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The rate of committing
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
 is on the rise. Some state that we should vary the methods of
punishment
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according to
Linking Words
 the individual circumstances and
motivation
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 to perform criminal
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and discuss my
opinion
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 on the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, using an approach with fixed
punishments
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 will save a lot of
time
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the policemen and lawyers. With the rising
number
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 of criminal cases, it is hard to allocate
time
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 to skim through every single criminal activity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if we can provide
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a fixed list of
punishments
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 for certain
crimes
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 it is easier to process.
However
Linking Words
, some victims may think that having fixed
punishment
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 specific
crimes
Use synonyms
 is unfair from their side. They would want to include their discomfort caused by the criminal to be justified by the law.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
punishment
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
crime
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 ranges from minor to severe depending on the
number
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 of attempts,
motivation
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, and
severity
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. Social service, imprisonment,
life-
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
time
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 sentence, and capital
punishment
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 are some of the popular
punishments
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. It is evident that some atrocious activities caused by serial killers can not be punished in the same
way
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like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a
theif
Correct your spelling
thief
 would be punished.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
way
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 Ten Buddy, a serial killer feared by many women in the late 1980s was sentenced to
death
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the death
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 penalty as the board of judges believed that there was no
punishment
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 that can justify the
way
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 he had murdered innocent women.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
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, criminal offences should take many factors
such
Linking Words
 as
motivation
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,
Use synonyms
severity
Add an article
the severity
show examples
 of the
crime
Use synonyms
, individual mindset, and
severity
Use synonyms
 of the damage caused to the victim party,
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 consideration before giving
punishment
Use synonyms
. The rate of committing
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
 is on the rise. Some state that we should vary the methods of
punishment
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 individual circumstances and
motivation
Use synonyms
 to perform criminal
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss both views and discuss my
opinion
Use synonyms
 on the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, using an approach with fixed
punishments
Use synonyms
 will save a lot of
time
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 policemen and lawyers. With the rising
number
Use synonyms
 of criminal cases, it is hard to allocate
time
Use synonyms
 to skim through every single criminal activity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if we can provide
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a fixed list of
punishments
Use synonyms
 for certain
crimes
Use synonyms
 it is easier to process.
However
Linking Words
, some victims may think that having fixed
punishment
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 specific
crimes
Use synonyms
 is unfair from their side. They would want to include their discomfort caused by the criminal to be justified by the law.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 
punishments
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 range from minor to severe depending on the
number
Use synonyms
 of attempts,
motivation
Use synonyms
, and
severity
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
punishments
Use synonyms
 range from imprisonment,
life-
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 sentence, and capital
punishment
Use synonyms
. It is evident that some atrocious activities caused by serial killers can not be punished in the same
way
Use synonyms
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a
theif
Correct your spelling
thief
 would be punished.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Use synonyms
, criminal offences should take many factors
such
Linking Words
 as
motivation
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
severity
Add an article
the severity
show examples
 of the
crime
Use synonyms
, individual mindset, and
severity
Use synonyms
 of the damage caused to the victim party,
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 consideration before giving
punishment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Nimz on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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