IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the money spent on developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
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These days, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 travel had been increasing to develop more new technology, and opponents believe that the
money
Use synonyms
 should invest in other
sectors
Use synonyms
 in order to fully utilize the investment. In my opinion, there are several reasons why I do not agree with the statement. First and foremost,
space
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 exploration has boosted scientific research. The
money
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 spent on
space
Use synonyms
 tourism is the key for scientists to invent new technology, which may
also
Linking Words
 lead other industries to work with
Use synonyms
space
Correct article usage
the space
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 industry on research and development.
For instance
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, smartphones
camera
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cameras
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,
sofware
Correct your spelling
software
, and robots
are develop
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are developed
are developing
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 travel
sectors
Use synonyms
.
Besides
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,
space
Use synonyms
 exploration can create lots of jobs that
helps
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help
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 millions of people around the world find jobs in
Use synonyms
space
Add an article
the space
show examples
 industry. To
further
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 illustrate, engineers,
space
Use synonyms
 designers, and trainers, all of which is in high demand.
Hence
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, when there are more job opportunities available in the
space
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sectors
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment will decrease
,
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apply
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 and
thus
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 boost the
country
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country's
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 economy.
By contrast
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, some critics argue that the government should
spent
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spend
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money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
Use synonyms
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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instead
Linking Words
 of
space
Use synonyms
 tourism. It is true that the
money
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 spent in public
sectors
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such
Linking Words
 as transportation,
maintance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 of public infrastructures, and education will benefit the mass. To quote an example, the government could utilize the
money
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 to enhance the education system so that more kids had the chance to get a better education. The
money
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 should
also
Linking Words
 be spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 upgrading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public facilities like
hospital
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hospitals
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, police
station
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stations
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, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
train station, these could greatly improve the
citizens
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citizen's
citizens'
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 quality of life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these funds should be used
in
Change preposition
to
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 subsidize the
low class
Add a hyphen
low-class
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 people to help them at least get a decent meal, which could decrease the
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of social issues in a nation. In conclusion, there are various methods for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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money
Use synonyms
either
Change preposition
on either
show examples
Use synonyms
space
Correct article usage
the space
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 industry or
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
Use synonyms
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
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.
However
Linking Words
, I think the
money
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 spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 travel is reasonable and
governmentshould
Correct your spelling
governments should
 continue to invest as it is part of the contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity.
Submitted by hong2016600 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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