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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #globalization #companies #effect #environment
It is argued that
globalization
 and the increasing number of multinational
companies
 affect to
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. I partially disagree with
this
 statement, because through
globalization
, many
companies
 start to try to solve crucial
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues. On the one hand, rapid
globalization
 and
sharp
Correct article usage
the sharp
show examples
 increase of multinational
companies
 might cause
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
show examples
 of
globe
Correct article usage
the globe
show examples
. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies
Add an article
the companies
show examples
 tend to construct factories in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
foreign
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 which there are affluent
nature
Change preposition
in nature
show examples
, to prepare for the inclining of demand thanks to
globalization
.
In addition
, they tend to ignore the rule of each
regions
Change to a singular noun
region
show examples
 because they do not afford to check these regulations
due to
 rapid
globalization
. In the case of some developed countries in Asia, expansion of factories area, some
deforestration
Correct your spelling
deforestation
 and water pollution of the sea
are occurred
Change to the active voice
occur
have occurred
show examples
. It must be because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization
 and rising the number of multinational
companies
.
On the other hand
, to be
globalization
 and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 multinational
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
 means these
companies
 have more opportunities to understand the situation of each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
about
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and get some knowledge about the solutions of protecting
destroy
Replace the word
destruction
show examples
 of nature.
In addition
, these
company
Change the determiner
companies
show examples
 tend to spend their allocation
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sustainability, so through
these information
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
, they can tackle
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these issues more effectively. In Malaysia, a Japanese appliance company, which constructed some factories in Malaysia, tried to approach
to reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
 garbage by using
recycle
Change the form of the verb
recycled
show examples
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their products. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, the amount of some types of garbage is decreasing now. In conclusion, I reiterate that
globalization
 and the growing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of multinational
companies
 have a not only bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
, but
also
 positive
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, and
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 outweigh
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
Submitted by t.watpot216 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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