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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Opinions differ on whether or not the primary goal of
advertisements
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 is to boost
sales
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 of commodities even though customers do not truly need them.
Although
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 some people would argue against the focus
due to
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 certain reasons, I totally agree with the statement. Admittedly, a number of individuals may believe that ad producers should be concerned about the reflection of the authenticity of their product, which means that the content of
advertisements
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 should convey exact information about the quality of promoted goods
instead
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 of exaggerating it. Several ads for Hao Hao noodles in Vietnam,
for example
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, have been publicly criticized for having shown bowls of noodles that were too unrealistic compared to their true ingredients in a single pack of noodles.
Similarly
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, it has been claimed by many that advertisers must set their goals focusing primarily on the current trends that attract customers. A good example is social media, where users watch memes and share them with others. Some advertisement campaigners have adopted
such
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 trendy posts to combine with their promotion to entice certain audiences.
However
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, the aforementioned goals rarely draw attention from people. Meanwhile,
sales
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 targets and statistics which are considered important achievements can play a more crucial role as they can incentivize marketers to optimize the effectiveness of their companies’
advertisements
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. Apple,
for instance
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, has successfully boosted its
sales
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 of
Iphones
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iPhones
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 by manipulating the psychology of customers with some techniques, which causes people to believe that they really need brand new smartphones manufactured by
this
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 corporation to have better convenience.
Moreover
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,
such
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 an aim can yield economic benefits, especially spurring the economy, as everybody increasingly purchases products. In conclusion, despite the opinions that
advertisements
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 should maintain authenticity and trendiness as principal objectives, I believe that increasing
sales
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 revenue is the primary aim of every advertisement, as it can encourage marketers to find the most effective solutions to promote goods and stimulate the economy.

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Task Achievement
Your essay responded well to the task by presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant examples. Make sure to address both sides of the argument in more detail to further strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a good logical structure and your introduction and conclusion are well-developed. To improve coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within sentences to make the essay more cohesive.
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