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Band 6.5

most people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. why? do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples,e.g from your knowledge or experience

#people #children #age #outweigh #e #g
In the present
age
, people tend to have
children
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 older
age
. From my perspective, it has more drawbacks than benefits.
This
 essay will discuss the main reasons associated with
this
 epidemic and reveals why it has more disadvantages. The main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 global problem are people's career and their freedom. Nowadays individuals' career and their position in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great importance. Everyone
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to enhance their
performances
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
show examples
 and get promoted;
therefore
, having
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
 is a huge obstacle and
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
parents
 to reach their goals. What's more, people without
children
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom.
In other words
, they do whatever they want and enjoy their lives.
For example
, a single person can travel or go to parties anytime without worrying about her baby.
However
, having
children
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 older
age
 has major drawbacks. First of all, old
parent’s
Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
show examples
children
 may suffer
some
Change preposition
from some
show examples
 disorders like Down syndrome.
This
 problem is more common among old mothers'
children
, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 irreparable problems
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
Secondly
, older
parents
 are not energetic and they can't play with their babies properly. They get bored easily and in the future because of
huge
Add an article
the huge
a huge
show examples
age
 difference, they couldn't understand
children
 and
this
 causes
disparity
Add an article
a disparity
show examples
 between them.
For instance
, teens with young
parents
 have a good relationship with them.
To conclude
, having
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
 in old
age
 has various reasons like
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of job
prospective
Replace the word
prospects
show examples
 and liberty.
On the other
hand
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,hand
show examples
 it has serious demerits like disability and
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 impatient. I personally believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of
this
 epidemic cannot overshadow the disadvantages.
Submitted by Babak.ghassemi.9 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • societal norms
  • priorities
  • career
  • financial stability
  • medical technology
  • life expectancy
  • emotional readiness
  • psychological readiness
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
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