Some people think that secondary or high school students should be taught to use money management as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Teaching students the practicality of
life
must be the goal of true education. With
this
, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the teaching of
financal
Correct your spelling
financial
literacy among high school students to inculcate
life
valuable
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
as early as possible.
Firstly
, several adults and even young
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
nowadays suffer enormous debts though working 24/7 in a stable company and receiving a reasonable salary. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
dillema
Correct your spelling
dilemma
is poor money management and lack of financial education.
For instance
, almost 90% of employees have salary loans, car loans, and
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
under bank financing.
Moreover
, their net pay was not anymore sufficient to suffice daily needs because of automatic deductions to their payrolls.
Thus
, they have to meet
the
Change the word
their
show examples
ends and live
pay check
Correct your spelling
paycheck
show examples
to
pay check
Correct your spelling
paycheck
show examples
.
As a result
, the economy
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
will be affected because of the
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
people are experiencing. I believe that education is the best solution to
this
predicament. Teaching citizens to be wise when it comes to finances will foster
life
satisfaction and improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of
life
. Educators can
molding
Wrong verb form
mould
show examples
the minds of young individuals by introducing them
simple
Change preposition
to simple
show examples
concepts on how to make savings out of their daily allowances. Through
series
Correct article usage
a series
show examples
of instructions, their knowledge will
be broaden
Change the verb form
be broadened
show examples
to
budgetting
Correct your spelling
budgeting
and managing resources which will turn out to be a
lifetime
Replace the word
life
show examples
skill. Eventually, they will be
staff
Wrong verb form
staffed
show examples
in the near future.
Thus
, they will have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greater opportunities to travel abroad, dine in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fancy
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
, purchase gadgets to produce quality output at work, and avail
retirement
Change preposition
of retirement
show examples
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
show examples
since they are trained to balance needs and wants.
Therefore
, most
probbably
Correct your spelling
probably
they will experience a more comfortable
life
.
To conclude
, educating young minds
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
money management means you are contributing to their success
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
freeing themselves from financial
obligation
Fix the agreement mistake
obligations
show examples
.
Submitted by lopezraysan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: