IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

more and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. what do you think are the causes of this? can you suggest some possible solutions?

#people #work #patterns #source #stress
Over the
last
 few years , a growing number
staff
Change preposition
of staff
show examples
 and band urge that the layout of modern tasks beget them nervous and stressed.
this
 essay will discuss the reasons for
this
 and provide some possible measures. The first reason is connected to competition between employees.
due to
 human beings property, people always want to reach more and more in all majors
such
 as work career.
as a result
 it makes a stressful situation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because most people desire to get a better and higher post than they already have.
for instance
 based on a local survey in one area in the city, 80 per cent of company demand and attempt to catch their boss's area. Another factor is that the majority of bosses and managers demand their team to work strictly and out of their skills.obviously
this
 makes employees susceptible and disappointed and eventually leads to a source of stress.
moreover
 these days it is often the case that many controversies between personnel and directors occur in offices or workplaces which end up with physical combats.
this
 issue is really efficient for workers' mental health. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are ways to deal with
such
 problems.
firstly
 one of the ways to solve the problem is to be satisfied with our rank or position. the department needs to convince themselves to stay in a suitable area which matches their abilities and skills and don't ask for more.
Secondly
, managers and directors should inquire their band about things they are capable to do , not more. ,
similarly
Add a comma
,similarly
show examples
 they shouldn't request them to try out
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their professional skills. as it will help workers to get confidence and feel useful. ,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 companies can build some fun and relaxing sites with the company's budget for personnel so which will increase the satisfaction and productivity between departments.
To sum up
, several factors have led to soaring tension in workplaces
due to
 modern task layouts but measures discussed above are available. I think the most obvious solution is to decline the expectations of people themselves . ,
also
 entertainment regions in offices can rise the satisfaction for team.
Submitted by honey.aa.2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • workload: the amount of work that someone has to do Example: 'The increasing workload is becoming overwhelming for employees.'
  • burnout: a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress Example: 'Long working hours can eventually lead to burnout.'
  • work-life balance: the balance that an individual needs between time allocated for work and other aspects of life Example: 'Flexible working hours can help achieve a better work-life balance.'
  • digital detox: a period during which a person refrains from using electronic devices such as smartphones or computers Example: 'A digital detox can reduce stress and improve mental health.'
  • job security: the probability that an individual will keep their job, with a low risk of becoming unemployed Example: 'Job security is crucial for reducing stress in the workplace.'
  • micromanagement: a management style whereby a manager closely observes or controls the work of subordinates Example: 'Micromanagement can hinder productivity and increase stress levels among employees.'
  • autonomy: independence or freedom, as of the will or one's actions Example: 'Giving employees more autonomy can help reduce their stress and improve job satisfaction.'
  • career development: the process of managing life, learning, and work over the lifespan Example: 'Career development programs can reduce stress by providing employees with clear growth opportunities.'
What to do next:
Look at other essays: