Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

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It is quite common for people to live in a nursing home after retiring, someone thinks it is negative.

However

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, I argue that it will keep them in mental health and relieve their children's burden. On the one hand, seniors live in retirement which will improve their mental health. Because there are many people in nursing homes,

Correct word choice

apply

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they can communicate and socialize with their friends and are less likely to feel lonely.

Therefore

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, it will help them maintain psychological well-being.

By contrast

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, the elderly who live lonely tend to isolate themselves which could cause mental diseases.

For example

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, the published reports by UBC show that those who had psychological diseases mostly stayed by themselves, and

this

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proved that staying in long-term centres is the best way to maintain them in a good mood.

On the other hand

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, elderly people who are living in long-term care centres are less likely to rely on their children's responsibility.

Because

Correct word choice

apply

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In retirement they are cared for by professionals, so in general, their offspring just need to visit them on weekends only, which will remain enough time for their work or their families.

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While others

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Others

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who are living on their own may need their children to be concerned for them daily which means it will disrupt their kids'

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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significantly.

For instance

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, most Canadian seniors

lived

Wrong verb form

live

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in nursing homes and don't

count

Verb problem

care

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about their kids. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

someone

Correct your spelling

some

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contends that seniors are better

to live

Change preposition

off living

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in their home, staying in long-term care centres is a good solution which helps them stay healthy and avoid bothering their offspring.

Submitted by jinyuming896 on Fri Jan 27 2023

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Task Achievement

Provide a clear opinion on whether it is a positive or negative development. Develop and support your points with relevant reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details. Use linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development

Some people think it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think younger leaders would be better. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

In many countries,there is a growing gap between the technical skills of younger people and those over the age of fifty. What problems does this cause, and what solutions could minimise the problems?