IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this ?

#people #punishment #type #crime
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar charts illustrate the percentage of British people consuming three different categories of music by gender and age.


Overall
Linking Words
, rock music was the favourite at any level of age except for people over 45 years old,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 oldest group had the largest proportion in the classical one. It is worth noting that men who bought each category of a music album in the UK showed a higher proportion than women. 

 The number of people who spent money on these albums in the pop or rock one exhibited similar proportions and ranking. Those ages between 25 and 34 took the lead at about one-
third,
Linking Words
followed by adolescents (16-24 years old), at around 30%, and the figure for the oldest came in
last
Linking Words
, just under 10%. 

However
Linking Words
, the pattern showed a wide difference in the classical type;
in particular
Linking Words
 for the youngest group and the old. The young whose age under 24 was just below 3%, almost a tenth times the percentage of the other categories.
In contrast
Linking Words
, almost 20% of those who were above 45, which was nearly three times the figure.
Submitted by a0111590317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: