IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

#humans #environment #governments #address #people
Humans are responsible for destroying the environment. A variety of environmental
problems
 are caused by the community but we can take steps to reduce these
problems
.
This
 essay will discuss environmental
problems
 and how the
government
 and
people
 can address these
problems
. Nowadays, the first main reason for the depletion of nature is deforestation. Many
people
 are cutting down trees
due to
 which
problems
 like lack of Oxygen
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 rising. In some areas, forests are devasted and
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of the buildings is done.
For instance
, in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 a few
people
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
are cutting down trees for their advantage like earning money from selling the
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
show examples
. They don't realise, soon there would be
scarcity
Add an article
a scarcity
the scarcity
show examples
 of oxygen. The
Government
 should implement strict fines and laws against individuals who are responsible for damaging nature and playing with
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of
people
.
Thus
, strict punishment should be given so that
people
 won't repeat mistakes. The other main reason is, companies are dumping waste directly into rivers and on the roads. Chemicals are emitted from
such
 waste and these chemicals are inhaled by the
people
.
For example
, researchers have proved 40% of health
problems
 are due
inhalation
Change preposition
to inhalation
show examples
 of hazardous gasses. It is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of every individual to take care of mother Earth. The
government
 should run campaigns and strict laws should be imposed to avoid dumping of industrial waste. If the community takes responsibility for saving the planet,
then
 we can avoid environmental
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
. In conclusion, it is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of the
Government
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals to save the Earth from
people
 who are trying to destroy the planet.
Submitted by rucha.khartadkar123 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollution: contamination, emissions, pollutants, industrial waste
  • Deforestation: habitat loss, biodiversity, urban development, logging
  • Climate Change: greenhouse gases, global warming, fossil fuels, renewable energy
  • Overfishing: unsustainable, fish stocks, marine ecosystems, conservation
  • Waste Production: non-biodegradable, plastics, recycling, waste management systems
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