With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A decent
Remove the article
Decent
show examples
health
care
is one of the main components that can help
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
to maintain their
health
.
Moreover
,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
body and mind will make
human's
Correct article usage
a human's
show examples
lifespan increase. The number of elderly
people
is an indicator to measure how well is the country's
health
care
system
.
In particular
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will be able to cope with escalating numbers
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
elderly
people
as long as they
surrounded
Add a missing verb
are surrounded
show examples
by a good
health
care
system
. Enhancement in
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
care
system
is being undertaking
Change the verb form
is being undertaken
show examples
by the government in order to make
people
can live their life until they get older. Living in
this
modern era where technology is advancing every day, can contribute to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
the
health
care
system
.
For instance
, right now we can easily detect
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
cancer or other serious illness
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
health
technology.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
also
can manage the increasing number of aged
people
by
create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
nursing
Add an article
a nursing
show examples
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
for the elderly.
This
movement can help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
people
to have the best treatment to maintain their
health
. One of the benefits of living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
nursing home is the chance to join
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new community that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to share their thoughts with fellow elderly. Having someone to share with in our old age will reduce the likelihood of getting
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
.
Overall
, the increasing number of aged
people
can be managed by improving our
health
care
system
and raise of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness to put more attention
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the elderly
people
.
Furthermore
, government support to make
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
show examples
nursing
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
can be one of the
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
to cope with
this
issue.
Submitted by fazria.ayuandina on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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