The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year

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The two pie charts show the proportion of money spent on various household necessities in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

and

Japan

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in 2010. The date is calibrated in percentage.

Overall

Linking Words

, the data indicate that in both cases food, housing and other goods and services were the main expenses

while

Linking Words

both countries spent

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

on health care. It can be clearly seen from the chart, in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

the greatest proportion of expenditure (34%) was on housing,

while

Linking Words

Japan

Use synonyms

housing accounted for just 21% of the total. Followed by in

Japan

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the greatest single expense was other goods and services at 29%, compared with 26% in

Malaysia

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Moreover

Linking Words

, food came

Change preposition

show examples

second place in

Japan

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, at 24%,

while

Linking Words

Malaysia

Use synonyms

the actual proportion was higher (27%). In

Japan

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, another major expense was transport, at 20%, but

this

Linking Words

was much lower in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

(10%). Surprisingly, in both countries, the smallest percentage of expenditure was on health care.

Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on Sat Jan 28 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, japan with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

152 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

household expenditures
proportion
cultural differences
economic differences
living standards
real estate market
public transportation
private transportation
infrastructure
government healthcare policies
quality of life
holistic view
inflation
economic growth
societal norms
globalization
communication expenses
education expenses

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The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: •say about the concert •say why you are unable to go •inform how your friend can receive the ticket

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value, discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think developing countries should invite large foreign companies to open offices and factories to grow their economies. other think developing Countries should keep the large companies out and develop local companies instead. Discuss both views