The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

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The two pie charts show the proportion of money spent on various household necessities in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

and

Japan

Use synonyms

in 2010. The date is calibrated in percentage.

Overall

Linking Words

, the data indicate that in both cases food, housing and other goods and services were the main expenses

while

Linking Words

both countries spent

least

Correct article usage

the least

show examples

on health care. It can be clearly seen from the chart, in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

the greatest proportion of expenditure (34%) was on housing,

while

Linking Words

Japan

Use synonyms

housing accounted for just 21% of the total. Followed by in

Japan

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the greatest single expense was other goods and services at 29%, compared with 26% in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, food came

Change preposition

show examples

second place in

Japan

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, at 24%,

while

Linking Words

Malaysia

Use synonyms

the actual proportion was higher (27%). In

Japan

Use synonyms

, another major expense was transport, at 20%, but

this

Linking Words

was much lower in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

(10%). Surprisingly, in both countries, the smallest percentage of expenditure was on health care.

prostoy.pacan4ekSat Jan 28 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, japan with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

152 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

household expenditures
proportion
cultural differences
economic differences
living standards
real estate market
public transportation
private transportation
infrastructure
government healthcare policies
quality of life
holistic view
inflation
economic growth
societal norms
globalization
communication expenses
education expenses

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The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people argue that museums and art galleries should present the nation's art, as opposed to artwoks from other countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

the most important of sience should be to improve people's live to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thity years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?