IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

when choosing a job, the salary is the ,most important consideration to what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that
salary
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 is the key factor when choosing a
job
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. I completely disagree because pay alone neither equips
people
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 with valuable experience nor guarantees a satisfying work environment. Across an entire career, learning opportunities and healthy conditions typically create better outcomes—both financial and personal—than the highest short-term paycheque. Valuable experience is more important than
salary
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.
People
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 who build strong, transferable skills are more likely to progress quickly or even start their own businesses. Moving into higher-value roles or launching a venture can produce greater income than a typical salaried post, resulting in more financial security and a more balanced life.
For example
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, many entrepreneurs begin in low-paid positions and concentrate on developing expertise; those skills later enable them to found companies, negotiate better terms, and capture higher lifetime earnings. Another reason
salary
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 is not the most important factor when choosing a career is that high pay does not necessarily bring
job
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 satisfaction. Highly paid employees often face heavy pressure and long hours.
This
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, in turn, makes them spend more time at work than with their families because they must meet tight deadlines;
therefore
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, their work–life balance suffers.
Such
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 a lifestyle can harm
overall
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 health, and numerous surveys link long working hours with increased stress, burnout, and reduced productivity. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
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 consider
salary
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 the most important factor when choosing a
job
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, expertise and
job
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 satisfaction matter more. Prioritising roles that offer steep learning,
supportive
Correct article usage
a supportive
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 culture, and reasonable hours is a wiser long-term strategy than chasing the highest immediate pay. Ironically, by choosing growth and wellbeing
first,
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most
people
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 maximise their earnings later and enjoy a more sustainable career

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development
Your view is clear and you give reasons. Consider adding one more counter idea and then explain why your view is still right.
coherence
Use linking words to show how points connect, such as also, in addition, however, and therefore.
language
Check small grammar and keep simple words so all readers can follow.
content
The writer has a clear stance against salary as the only key factor.
content
Examples of entrepreneurs and work life balance help support the point.
organisation
Intro and conclusion repeat the main idea and give a good finish.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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