IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries people increasingly talk about money (how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations). Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In
the
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apply
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contrast
of
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to
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Correct article usage
the pass
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pass
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past
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, the residents in many countries
stast
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start
 to discuss
about
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apply
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their daily
cost
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costs
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 between conversations with
people
Use synonyms
.
Weather
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Whether
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 it is
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a postive
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postive
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positive
 or
disadvatage
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disadvantage
phonomen
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phenomenon
phenomena
, I would
explian
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explain
 the ideas in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
According to
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 the
cultrual
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cultural
 difference, western
people
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 tend to not mention
about
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apply
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finaical
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financial
 issues in a conversation;
however
Linking Words
,
people
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 from
the
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apply
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eastern countries adore to ask about
the
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apply
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jobs,
salaries
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and salaries
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 in
life
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. Eastern residents think that it is a warm-up to get to know a person, and western residents tend to skip
these topic
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this topic
these topics
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 because they consider
finicial
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financial
 is their
privite
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private
life
Use synonyms
.
Besides
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, in recent decades,
economy
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economic
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techology
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technology
have
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has
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 changed the whole
socity
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society
 around the world, it is convenient to get information through the internet. On the hand, it is easier for many companies to have business overseas, and that makes the workers
involve
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involved
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 in different situations for facing
people
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 from
backgroun
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background
 difference.
Therefore
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, except for business
conference
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conferences
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,
people
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 start to talk about the daily payment because it is closer to our
life
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 and easy to get
connection
Add an article
a connection
the connection
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 with others to know
the
Change the word
their
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life
Use synonyms
 of them.
On the other hand
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, when we discuss too
much
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many
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 money issues
to
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with
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 our friends or co-workers, it will
also
Linking Words
 make us into
troubles
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trouble
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. Though talking about
the
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apply
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privite
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private
finicial
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financial
 topics
make
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makes
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people
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 get connected and find the solutions
for
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to
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 our problems, we still need to pay attention
for about
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to
show examples
 it. Because everyone has different facts and
cause
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causes
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 the results
difference
Replace the word
different
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 which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 learn
the
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apply
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lessons from each other. In conclusion, though there are
disadaventage
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disadvantages
disadvantage
for
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to
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 talking about money in public, there are more
adaventage
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advantages
advantage
 for
people
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 to discuss with others.
People
Use synonyms
 can learn
the
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from the
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 experience
form
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from
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 others and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not make mistakes
at
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in
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 the same way.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • economic disparity
  • transparency
  • financial planning
  • financial stress
  • culture of comparison
  • societal taboos
  • financial literacy
  • savings
  • investments
What to do next:
Look at other essays: