Some people believe that violence in the media, such as in television programs and films, directly results in violent behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #violence #media #television #programs #films #results #behavior

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There is a belief that

violence

in entertainment

media

programe

Correct your spelling

programme

is the main factor for

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In my point of view, I totally agree with

this

idea.

People

can be affected by violent and dangerous acts in movies.

However

, they tend to be violent because of their deviant thoughts and bad

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

in their routine. First of all,

violence

modifies

people

in many ways.

People

can become savage

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show examples

their daily life.

For example

, they live in a bad family and they always see violent action

everdays

Correct your spelling

every day

, so

this

is why

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

habits affect them.

Moreover

, they are in a relationship with bad friends who do terrible activities.

Therefore

, they are affected by these

vice

Fix the agreement mistake

vices

show examples

Secondly

, some

people

are influenced by aggression from their habits

such

as watching too much ferocious content or not receiving picked information. The action in the films

also

causes the wrong preconception which impacts the most to teenagers. Sometimes, teenagers are not good enough

Change preposition

show examples

accepting new knowledge and they just directly copy the acts in the films.

As a result

, they find satisfaction in their mental health and they can not control their feelings and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

In addition

, we can not imagine the day we live far away from technology and social

media

This

also

the reason why

people

gain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information too quickly to prevent it.

People

more and more reduce communication with other

people

. They just want to use their own social

media

surfing

Wrong verb form

surf

show examples

the Internet and

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

terrified

Replace the word

terrifying

show examples

videos which spread a lot

Change preposition

show examples

social networks. In conclusion,

violence

can cause many serious problems.

However

, it can change one's mind and spirit through the

media

Submitted by pcamps.pr on Sat Jan 28 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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The internet and technology, like mobile phones and laptops, are connecting us to each other every hour of the day via networking sites and applications. Do you think it’s an advantage or disadvantage?

Today social skills are being more and more emphasized by employers. Some people believe that social skills are important besides good qualifications for their job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?