Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

#people #time #activities #music #theater #sport

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Due to

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the changing social demands, it is often controversial what kinds of skills and knowledge young

people

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should gain for a better future.

While

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some

people

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argue that they should spend more time on cultural activities

such

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as music and theatre than playing sports, I strongly disagree with

this

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view for the following reasons. On one hand, it is undeniable that music and theatres play significant roles in educating young

people

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. In fact, in modern society when the young have a more distant life apart from their parents and grandparents, these cultural resources are essential ways to fill their ignorance about historical events.

For example

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, a movie called "9.11" is based on the fact that terrorist groups attacked the World Trade Center in New York by plane in 2011.

This

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deeply analysed movie allows young adults to understand the tragic event and reassure the importance of protecting the peace in the world.

In addition

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, the advanced sound and animation effects have a strong impact on their minds and

as a result

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, they are less likely to forget about the valuable experiences in the theatre.

Therefore

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, some

people

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consider that they should spend more time gaining sophisticated knowledge from theatres

that

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than

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they normally learn from textbooks at school.

On the other hand

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, the importance of

such

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cultural activities does not undermine the effect of exercise. In fact, obesity has become a serious concern among the young because of the increasing tendency of their sedentary life with the prevailing use of smartphones and computers.

This

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is proved by the data that 10% of elementary school children are diagnosed as overweight, which leads to growing awareness of the significance of regular exercise to maintain their health.

Consequently

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, I believe that playing sports should be strongly recommended at schools and homes to protect their wellbeings. In conclusion, there is various knowledge in music and movie that young

people

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cannot learn in the real life.

However

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, I strongly support that the pressured health issues of small children affected by continuous sedentary lifestyles prioritize the importance of exercise to maintain their health.

Submitted by mizuho_kondo117 on Sat Jan 28 2023

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both viwes and give your opinions.

some people think that online reading materials are better for children. others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. discuss and give your opinion.

İt is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?