Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages

It is irrefutable fact that these days more and more people are working long

hours

. After that, they are giving their less

time

for leisure activities. I personally believe that the benefits of the statement

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

far outweigh its drawbacks. These benefits are twofold. First of all, these days a vast amount of people are working hard . They spend 12

hours

on their jobs.

This

hard

work

brings their professions a lot of advantages.

For instance

, if one teacher works at school for 8

hours

. And teach his or her students by heart.

After

this

phenomenon

, he or she can achieve their career. Because he or she always teaches his or her pupils with great knowledge . And he or she can clearly share their own knowledge with students.

Also

, he or she always controls their study.

This

phenomenon

can bring to win during his or her job .

Also

, he or she will promote at their

work

Besides

, working a long

time

can help your financial resource. Because if you

work

hours

during the day your company or other working places give you high -the quality of money.

That is

why you will not have financial demands .

On the other hand

this

statement has some downsides.

Firstly

, if you

work

hours

. After that, you can not attention to yourself and your family.

For example

, if you have children.

Then

they wait for you to eat a meal together and do other things . But you can not come early your home on

time

and

this

thing causes their missing you . If they do not meet you every day. After that, they will lose kindness with you.

This

phenomenon

negatively affects the family's future life . Despite

this

, if you always

work

, you will have diseases . Because you do not take care of your health .

That is

why

this

phenomenon

can bring harmful diseases to your body . By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that today a number of people

work

a long

time

Then

they do not take

time

for other things . In my opinion,

this

thing is a very effective way for their occupation.

Submitted by asqar4997 on Sun Jan 29 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

370 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

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