Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are argumentative notions heating up a debate over which generation should be concentrated on.
While
some claim that it is imperative for people to look into their family history, the opposite makes a statement that a current and younger one plays
such
a paramount important role in human civilization, which is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to focus on. In my viewpoint,
while
each has its own perks, it is optimal to combine both mentioned sides. Without a shadow of a doubt, researching sorts of ancient family information is quite crucial in some cases. By doing so, individuals may have a deeper understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
their family trees
as well as
their old valuable heritages.
Furthermore
, it is a must for residents to have a high liability in preserving their former value
along with
prospering conventional vocations. To be more specific, carpentry, pottery and weaving can be cited as an intriguing example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
early embroidering skills which need to
conserve
Wrong verb form
be conserved
show examples
and spread to youngsters immediately so as to avoid
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
disappearance.
Therefore
, it is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
necessity
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
to investigate the family history of persons owing to the valuable conventions. Whilst the redeeming feature of knowing the preceded information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
people’s
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
is widely acknowledged, focusing on the current generations and the next ones is
also
comparatively vital. Particularly,
this
stage is presented
as well as
they are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
that ordinary people can rely on promptly whenever they get into
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
.
For instance
, when dwellers have to address their financial difficulties,
besides
their guardians, cousins, siblings or any relatives may be the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
that they can get rid of. Because of
this
obvious fact, looking after their dear ones
along with
strengthening their bonds among family members is a need for humans.
Hence
, there are formidable upsides that
demonstate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
the importance of concentrating on ordinary generations. In conclusion, both statements have proved the essence of getting to know about their elder family values
as well as
revolving
about
Change preposition
around
show examples
the present and young generations.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Aim to have a clearer and more concise thesis statement that directly addresses the question by stating your opinion clearly.
coherence & cohesion
Ensure your essay paragraphs flow logically from one to the next by using a range of cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt fully. Include further development of your ideas with more specific examples to support your points.
coherence & cohesion
Work on paragraph structure to clearly separate your points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
coherence & cohesion
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate points more precisely and to add interest to your writing.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: