With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree

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In
this
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modern era,it is thought that untouched lands must be explored to satisfy improvement because of their growing necessity for energy
sources
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.
However
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, I partially disagree with
this
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standpoint.As far as I am concerned, expanding demand for fuel would not only inflict long-lasting harm on ecosystems but
also
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deepen humanity’s reliance on unsustainable power
sources
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.
This
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essay will explain how detrimental effects can have on the environment.
Firstly
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,exploring new territories for gaining fossil fuel can worsen the biodiversity of the Earth resulting in a decrease of flora and fauna
due to
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the fact that, because these areas can provide many species with food
sources
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and accommodation.
In addition
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to
this
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,exploiting new areas for development would have a long-lasting impact on the environment and accelerate climate change.As an example of
this
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,a study by Nazarbayev University revealed that intensive land use in Kazakhstan between 1970 and 1960 led to a 35 per cent deterioration in air quality and caused the extinction of numerous native species.
Furthermore
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,having exploited fossil fuels from untouched lands would be controversial for local people who would grow
concerns
Replace the word
concerned
about
this
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recent predicament.
This
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could result in many disagreements among individuals.
Moreover
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,
instead
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of decreasing the use of energy
sources
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, these motions could increase dependency by trying to accomplish urgent necessities.
For instance
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,the world nature concervancy proves that the opening of new gas and oil fields is gaining a tendency, with
ab
Correct your spelling
an
increasing figure at about 9 per cent each year and causing the neglection to the invention of alternative power
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.
To conclude
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,even though the high demand for energy
sources
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is increasing,the government should limit the consumption of power
sources
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.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree or disagree, and keep this same view in all body parts.
task response
Add one strong main idea in each body part, then explain it with a simple reason and one clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are linked, but some lines are hard to follow. Use shorter sentences and simple link words like First, Also, For example, and In conclusion.
task response
Check each example. Make sure it is easy to understand and fits the main point well.
coherence and cohesion
Make paragraph order clearer: intro, body 1, body 2, conclusion. Start each body part with a topic sentence.
task response
You gave a clear position in the introduction and you stayed mostly on one side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to use examples to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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