IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over taking
consideration
Change preposition
into consideration

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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family trees, current and succeeding generations. From my perspective,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, getting to know about
line
Add an article
the line

The noun phrase line seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 of ancestry should be put into the priority in humans’ lives. And the explanation for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 could potentially be that by digging into family roots,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can easily dive deeper
in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 their biological aspects.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, that will amazingly do wonders for curing diseases. To be more particular, gene or DNA features are able to give doctors hints about
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s diseases so that they can diagnose them more effectively the possibility of being infected with those alarming diseases
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as cancer or asthma.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, collecting information about origins plays a paramount significant role in
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the merits of understanding family trees are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of
putting
Wrong verb form
put

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb putting. Consider changing it.

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 emphasis on the present and future generations are ignored. Undeniably, parents and siblings are the ones who can be present immediately and help promptly when
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 face unpredictable troubles. Specifically, when any family members have financial difficulties, parents, siblings or even cousins and relatives are
those
Correct determiner usage
the

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that they can turn to for help.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, those are underlying roots pinning down why
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 should focus in the form of spending time looking after family members and strengthening the bonds among them. In my conclusion, both getting information about family history and taking care of recent generations
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 descendants should be taken into account.

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task achievement
Provide clearer and more directly related examples to support each viewpoint. While discussing the importance of understanding family trees and focusing on current and future generations, include specific, real-life examples or research findings to make your arguments more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words or phrases to better connect ideas and arguments across the essay. This will help in enhancing the flow and understanding of your argumentation.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states the essay's topic and your thesis statement. Similarly, ensure your conclusion summarizes the key points made and clearly restates your position. This helps in providing a clear and more impactful beginning and end to your essay.
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