many students take partime jobs while studying in university , you think it’s a good idea or bad idea.

#students #partime #jobs #university #it’s #idea

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In today's context of the world, most students perform odd jobs

while

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they are studying at universities or colleges.

According to

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my opinion, I believe that undergraduates should work

while

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they are studying. The reasons can be elaborated as follows, On the one hand, if undergraduates started working

while

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they are learning, they will be able to understand the value of

money

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As a result

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, it will assist them in saving

money

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rather than spending on unnecessary products and services.

Further

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this

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will

also

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help parents to reduce the costs of their children's education.

For instance

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, given that, the student is performing a part-time job, it will be difficult for him or her to earn

money

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easily.

Thus

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, he or she will start saving

money

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and spend them on paying university payments.

This

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will assist in creating a better human in future.

On the other hand

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, if undergraduates are working

while

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they learning, it will be difficult for them to focus on studying as they are tired

due to

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the heavy workload.

Thus

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, they might not be able to submit assignments on time.

Moreover

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, they will not be able to perform well in the exams.

Therefore

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, the working hours of these students need to be governed by the government. Apart from that, parents can

also

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monitor their children to identify whether they are working overtime. In conclusion, I believe that there are benefits

as well as

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drawbacks to students when taking part-time jobs.

Therefore

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, both the government and parents should monitor them carefully to meet the intended expectation.

Submitted by dnkodagoda on Sun Jan 29 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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many students take partime jobs while studying in university , you think it’s a good idea or bad idea.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

What problems does cybercrime cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?

Although nowadays many people have access to sports facilities, modern lifestyles are becoming less and less active. What problems are associated with this? How can people be persuaded to have a more active lifestyle?

Buying things on internet such as books air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular .Do advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantage.

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those crimes?