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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

many students take partime jobs while studying in university , you think it’s a good idea or bad idea.

#students #partime #jobs #university #it’s #idea
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In today's context of the world, most students perform odd jobs
while
 they are studying at universities or colleges.
According to
 my opinion, I believe that undergraduates should work
while
 they are studying. The reasons can be elaborated as follows, On the one hand, if undergraduates started working
while
 they are learning, they will be able to understand the value of
money
.
As a result
, it will assist them in saving
money
 rather than spending on unnecessary products and services.
Further
,
this
 will
also
 help parents to reduce the costs of their children's education.
For instance
, given that, the student is performing a part-time job, it will be difficult for him or her to earn
money
 easily.
Thus
, he or she will start saving
money
 and spend them on paying university payments.
This
 will assist in creating a better human in future.
On the other hand
, if undergraduates are working
while
 they learning, it will be difficult for them to focus on studying as they are tired
due to
 the heavy workload.
Thus
, they might not be able to submit assignments on time.
Moreover
, they will not be able to perform well in the exams.
Therefore
, the working hours of these students need to be governed by the government. Apart from that, parents can
also
 monitor their children to identify whether they are working overtime. In conclusion, I believe that there are benefits
as well as
 drawbacks to students when taking part-time jobs.
Therefore
, both the government and parents should monitor them carefully to meet the intended expectation.
Submitted by dnkodagoda on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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