Wheatear a person's achieve his goal in life or not is mostly deleted to luck. What extend do you agree or disagree.

#wheatear #person #life #luck

In today's perceptually transforming epoch people are becoming more and more serious

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

their bright future.

However

, few mankind opine that a person's achieving goal is mostly depended on their

fortune

. I agree to a huge extent and disagree with

Correct article usage

the

show examples

above nation in the forthcoming paragraphs. Now, taking into account some agreement side of

this

phenomenon, the first and foremost is masses need both,

fortune

along with

hard

work

In addition

, many people are only believing in hard

work

and for getting their

desire

Replace the word

desired

show examples

dream they do a lot of hard

work

and burn

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

midnight oil. But, when anyone wants a good job without corruption, they need

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

luck.

For example

, on

person

Add an article

the person

a person

show examples

who wants to get e

companey

Correct your spelling

company

. employment in IS or IPS and

also

in big. If they

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

have

Correct article usage

a batter

show examples

batter

Correct your spelling

better

show examples

fortune

, many

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

can get

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

by giving a bunch of money.

Therefore

, mankind must have luck

along with

hard

work

. Now, considering the disadvantages,

firstly

, hard

work

is one of the things which can aid anyone to get

Correct article usage

the desire

show examples

desire

Replace the word

desired

show examples

future.

In other words

, many mankind

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have the ability to achieve their goals with hard

work

For example

, the First Kohli is one of the most famous batsmen in the world. He did too much practice and hard

work

in his adulthood and because of

this

, he was able to get his goal in his favourite field without any

fortune

. Because through hard

work

, he

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

learnt everything and now, no one sufficient to equal him in his field In conclusion, if anyone wants to take over their

fortune

, they need both, luck and better

work

. Only hard struggle and only

fortune

can not aid to achieve goals

Submitted by vaisuprajapati1997 on Sun Jan 29 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Wheatear a person's achieve his goal in life or not is mostly deleted to luck. What extend do you agree or disagree.

Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

rio: You need to take a few days off from work for a family emergency. Write a letter to your employer formally requesting time off and explaining the situation.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries plastic bags are main source of rubbish causing pollution in oceans and on land therefore they should be banned . To what extent do you agree or disagree