It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a lot of discussion about marriage under the age of 30 for various social and cultural reasons,

such

as religion or customs in different countries. In my opinion, young people should decide for themselves when it is better to get married, but without doing it under someone else's pressure.

Above all

, a responsible person who wants to start a family would want to provide comfortable conditions for the family: good housing, quality education for the children, and opportunities for development.

Therefore

, there must be an adequate social and financial basis before starting a family. Usually, the period up to the age of 30 is the time to finish studies and start a career. It is extremely difficult to make serious decisions about one's personal life and build a family at the same time. Another legitimate problem for the unwillingness to marry early is the global economic situation,

in particular

, the pandemic and the progressive recession. If previously it was difficult to find a well-paid position or start a new business, today millions of families are fighting for every job opportunity to survive. By the way, recent studies have shown a growing number of childless people who prefer to focus on their own needs and careers rather than on demographic problems.

On the other hand

, many people are in favour of interfering with an individual's intimate relationships because of following the traditions or mentality of their country.

For example

, in Muslim families, future marriage is mostly decided by the couple's parents, from childhood. In conclusion, I believe that in the 21st century, men and women under the age of 30 have every right to decide for themselves about their life together.

Moreover

, modern society or anyone else should not influence the couple's decisions, especially given the economic situation of the world.

Submitted by BEST Piotr Czerwiński on Sun Jan 29 2023

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task response

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a well-structured logical progression of ideas. However, to further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using transition words to improve the flow between paragraphs and provide a clearer connection between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Fertility
Maternal health
Psychological stability
Social maturity
Economic benefits
Shared responsibilities
Ancestral customs
Cultural imperatives
Personal development
Career establishment
Societal norms
Lifestyle choices
Divorce rates
Life decisions
Subjective wellbeing

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It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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