IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As a general trend, it is recommended by some
people
Use synonyms
 that a majority of practitioners preferred that
golden-ager
Correct your spelling
golden-agers
show examples
 must generate
schedule
Add an article
a schedule
show examples
 of physical exercises regularly, but research depicts that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
them have
show examples
 prohibited
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
,
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of causes and certain measures can be taken to encourage
this
Linking Words
 generation. On the one hand, many elderly
people
Use synonyms
 procrastinate exercise and mood disorders play a prominent role
daily
Change preposition
in daily
show examples
 exercise routine. To be more specific, the example can be seen in
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of coordination and balance, which is the most arduous impact on their daily health. These hazardous shifts predominantly encounter
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sedentary activities and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of coordination with social lifestyles.
For instance
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 avoid
to join
Change the verb form
joining
show examples
 gym withdrawals, which leads them
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health disorders especially anxiety and various mood depression and stress.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
 fitness
market place
Correct your spelling
marketplace
show examples
 and youngsters have failed to include and influence elderly
people
Use synonyms
. In my view, as for encouragement, one’s can be reminded by their children or even
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 and advertising industry daily. Another remedy is that
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 can produce a specific program just for
this
Linking Words
 section of society. A good illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is special workout channels on Television to obviate the needs of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, take a group activity in a park as
salient
Add an article
a salient
show examples
 example; Instructors can hold classes in fresh air for the older generation which
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only inspire them but
also
Linking Words
 ameliorate their health level.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
seniors
Change noun form
seniors'
senior's
show examples
 encouragement seems to have a burden on
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generations
Change noun form
generations'
generation's
show examples
 shoulders. In spite of all contributing factors, proper plans can reduce the severity of
this
Linking Words
 issue considerably.
Submitted by chaitalimerai143 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: