IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

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It is frequently asserted that nourishing
food
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 is required for pupils to study productively in educational institutions. There are two prominent factors that underpin
this
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 assertion.
In addition
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, the roles of governments and
parents
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 are of paramount importance in encouraging
students
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 to consume healthy
food
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. Over the past decade, healthy meals have become a ubiquitous trend, especially for
students
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. These meals are provided to support their abilities and help them to stay focused during lesson time.
In addition
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, the overwhelming majority of pupils often take random snacks at
school
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 that may negatively affect their health.
As a result
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, they are at risk of diseases
such
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 as stunting and malnutrition.
Therefore
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, healthy
food
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 is imperative to aid
children
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 during their time in
school
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.
Besides
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 how essential healthy cuisine is for
children
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 in
school
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, governments and
parents
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 play
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 role in encouraging
students
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 to choose healthier
food
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 choices.
Firstly
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, as policymakers, the authorities need to be able to collaborate with the
school
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 committee to create regulations that support healthy
food
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 programs and supervise
students
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 in the
school
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 environment. These rules are crucial to prevent
children
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 at
school
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 from eating junk
food
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.
For example
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, in my country, the new president plans to implement a lunch program in elementary schools to provide nutritious
food
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.
This
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 initiative is necessary because several
students
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 do not eat breakfast before attending
school
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, which leads them to buy fast
food
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.
Additionally
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,
parents
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also
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 have an indispensable role at home before pupils go to
school
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. They should talk with their
children
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 about the importance of consuming healthy
food
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 in the
school
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 area. In conclusion, healthy meals are essential for
children
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 at
school
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 for two key reasons: they provide necessary nutrition and support academic performance.
Additionally
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, the roles of governments and
parents
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 are vital in ensuring that
students
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 have access to
this
Linking Words
 nutritious
food
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.

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task achievement
For task response, it is essential to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Consider including factual statistics or studies that support the importance of healthy meals for students.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance coherence, use more transitional phrases that link your points and ideas smoothly. This will make your writing more fluid and easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, providing a comprehensive context and effectively summarizing the response.
supported main points
Main points are developed well with compelling explanations, staying relevant to the topic and connecting directly to the question.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay effectively divides responsibilities between the government and parents, providing a well-rounded view of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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