IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show reasons for travel and the main issues for the travelling public in the US in 2009. Summarise it.

The charts below show reasons for travel and the main issues for the travelling public in the US in 2009. Summarise it.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar
chart
Use synonyms
 and pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrate reasons why Americans travelled and what problems they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
faced in the year 2009,
It is clear that
Linking Words
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of US residents travelled mainly because of their work and
minority
Add an article
a minority
the minority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
travelled to visit friends and relatives.
However
Linking Words
, the main concern for travelling was the cost of trips in the same year. In terms of reasons for travel, commute to and from work was the highest figure in the bar
chart
Use synonyms
, at 19%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, only 6% of trips were made by US citizens to visit friends or relatives, which was the lowest figure.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, travelling for personal reasons, shopping, social and recreation accounted for 19%, 16%, and 10% respectively in 2009.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, the main issue
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 travelling was the cost of it, which was considerably higher than other problems, at 36%.
Besides
Linking Words
, 19% of American
people
Use synonyms
's concern was for safety which was slightly higher compared to the concern for aggressive driving.
Also
Linking Words
 in the same year, 14%
people
Use synonyms
 of
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 USA described traffic congestion as their
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who thought that access to public transport and space for pedestrians were some major travel issues was,
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8% and 6% respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: