IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.
#bar #student #enrolments #three #universities #summarise #information #features #comparison
The bar chart illustrates the thousand of
students
 from India, Nepal, Vietnam, Indonesia and
Colombia
 enrolled at
Smithtown
University
,
University
 of Riverview and Earlwood
University
.
Overall
,
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Riverview admitted the highest
number
 of
students
while
Smithtown
university
 had the lowest admission of
students
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 India had the highest enrolment of their
students
however
Colombia
 had the least. The
University
 of Riverview received the highest
number
 of
students
 from all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
five countries. The highest
number
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 just above 7000 and the least being slightly above 1000.
Colombia
 sent out the lowest
number
 of
students
 to all the universities, they did send around a thousand
students
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each
university
. Nepal registered 4000
Students
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 both Earlwood
University
 and
Smithtown
University
.
Additionally
, Indonesia registered the same amount of
students
 at the same universities,
that is
 10000
students
.
However
, India, Vietnam and
Colombia
 registered
different
Change the article
a different
the different
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
students
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the three universities.
Smithtown
University
 received the lowest
number
 of
students
 of not same as Earlwood
University
 ranging between 6000
students
 and under 1000
students
.
Submitted by mkultany on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, colombia, smithtown, university, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: