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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.
#bar #student #enrolments #three #universities #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The bar chart illustrates the thousand of
students
Use synonyms
 from India, Nepal, Vietnam, Indonesia and
Colombia
Use synonyms
 enrolled at
Smithtown
Use synonyms
University
Use synonyms
,
University
Use synonyms
 of Riverview and Earlwood
University
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Riverview admitted the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Smithtown
Use synonyms
university
Use synonyms
 had the lowest admission of
students
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 India had the highest enrolment of their
students
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
Colombia
Use synonyms
 had the least. The
University
Use synonyms
 of Riverview received the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 from all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
five countries. The highest
number
Use synonyms
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 just above 7000 and the least being slightly above 1000.
Colombia
Use synonyms
 sent out the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 to all the universities, they did send around a thousand
students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 each
university
Use synonyms
. Nepal registered 4000
Students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 both Earlwood
University
Use synonyms
 and
Smithtown
Use synonyms
University
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Indonesia registered the same amount of
students
Use synonyms
 at the same universities,
that is
Linking Words
 10000
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, India, Vietnam and
Colombia
Use synonyms
 registered
different
Change the article
a different
the different
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the three universities.
Smithtown
Use synonyms
University
Use synonyms
 received the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 of not same as Earlwood
University
Use synonyms
 ranging between 6000
students
Use synonyms
 and under 1000
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mkultany on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, colombia, smithtown, university, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolment trends
  • steady increase
  • fluctuating enrolments
  • international student numbers
  • comparative analysis
  • favored choice
  • global economic conditions
  • admission policies
  • program offerings
  • student satisfaction
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